Binge Parenting

Binge Parenting

Some years ago, I was ferrying a group of young teens from one activity to another. The subject of a recent party came up. 

“Yeah, Cam had a keg. I took a sip, but beer is nasty!”

“My brother says you have to develop a taste for it.”

“Maybe. I might try it next time. It would be fun to get drunk at least once to see what it’s like.”

My grip tightened on the steering wheel. 

Every day, approximately 5,000 young people between the ages of twelve and twenty begin experimenting with alcohol. Psychiatrist Aaron White, in the “National Institute on Alcohol Abuse and Alcoholism,” wrote, “If recreational drugs were tools, alcohol would be a sledgehammer.” In other words, alcohol hits teens’ brains hard.

In The Teenage Brain, Dr. Frances Jensen writes that teens initially have a high tolerance for alcohol. They don’t immediately feel impaired when drinking. This tolerance and peer pressure encourage them to keep drinking and to drink more often but “belies the devastating long-term consequences of alcohol on the adolescent brain.” Studies show that alcohol use damages “cognitive, behavioral and emotional functioning.” This damage to the brain can lead to attention deficit, depression, memory problems and the inability to set goals. 

Even moderate alcohol consumption can cause memory lapses and an inability to focus. Students may have trouble studying and performing on tests. Heavy or frequent drinkers may “exhibit poorer visual-spatial functioning” which affect “everything from doing mathematics to driving, [to] playing sports.” Teens who can’t focus are more likely to think that life is “boring” — and kids who are bored can get into a lot of trouble. Binge drinking may cause permanent brain damage or death. 

Why do teens start drinking? Adolescent brains are still forming so decision-making may be impaired — even before they take a single drink. Teens are more likely to take risks, to run with the crowd, and to seek thrills. According to Dr. Jensen, “One of the biggest contributing risk factors for adolescents who drink is a family history of alcohol abuse.” Teens are watching adults for cues about behavior. How do you use or abuse alcohol?

Do your children see you reaching for a drink after a stressful day? Do you need alcohol to unwind or to party? Is alcohol part of your daily routine? Do you tell funny stories of drinking parties in your younger days? Have you talked to your teen about the dangers of alcohol to the body and brain? Do you know your teen’s friends and their parents? Do you check to make sure that parents will be home for parties and that alcohol will not be served? Do you serve alcohol to teens?

That day in the car, as the “invisible” adult driver, I could have kept my mouth shut. But I didn’t. I answered the question about the fun of getting drunk just once with a great big “No.” The girls were eager to talk. We had a great discussion about responsible alcohol use. 

Parents must set clear rules, monitor activities, and communicate values to their children from birth through adolescence. Introduce your children to the risks of alcohol in friendly discussions early. Know what you are talking about. Model responsible behavior. Don’t practice “binge parenting.” Be there every day helping them to make good decisions for safe and responsible living. 

(All quotes from The Teenage Brain by Dr. Frances Jensen, MD)