How Were You Raised?

How were you raised?

Twice a year, I volunteer at a mission event. All the volunteers have a great time. We chat and laugh as we sort the donated items. One of my sorting-buddies takes on a very big job — organizing the thousands of household items that are donated. I love helping her because she is not only efficient and organized but she also has a big heart.

As we work, she keeps those who will be receiving the donated items foremost in her mind. She makes sure that everything is in good working condition and clean. Sometimes we find items which should have been trashed or which are filthy. I once wondered aloud why someone would donate such items. My friend replied, “It’s all in how you’ve been raised.” 

“It’s all in how you’ve been raised.” How were you raised? What happened then that makes you the person you are now? It’s true, the lessons we learn in childhood follow us all of our lives. We brush our teeth because our parents did. We treat our neighbors the way our parents did. We support causes our parents did and spend our money the way our parents did. Even if we rebelled and totally rejected all of our parents' values, the lessons they taught us — consciously or inadvertently — stick with us. 

A recent report revealed that even those of us who grow up in “happy” families are influenced by the mores of the larger society. Those who grew up in the “Ozzie and Harriett” 1950s might be less likely to recognize tacit racism. Those who identify with the hippies of the 1960s might be more likely to promote women’s rights. Children today are more likely to accept diversity in cultures and families. World values impact children’s lives.

How you were raised affects who you are today and how you behave. My sorting-buddy learned the golden rule from her parents: Treat others the way you want to be treated. Everyone is worthy of respect and dignity. She sees the donations to the mission event as gifts to those in need. They are not discards, they are gift-cards.

Many of us had great parents; many of us did not. Many of us were raised in good times; many of us were not. The circumstances of our youth shape us but we are never finished being raised. We can choose to treat others well. We can choose to respect the dignity of all people. We can discard hurtful attitudes and choose helpful ones.

My sorting-buddy and the other volunteers at the mission event come from many different backgrounds, but somewhere along the line, they learned to help others. They continue to “raise” themselves, and those they help, by doing good. Children raised well learn that people care about them. 

Pass these values along to your children. When you are raised well, others rise.