A Perennial Resolution

New Year’s Resolutions

My second grade students loved to make New Year’s resolutions. We’d start every New Year by having a class meeting to share our favorite holiday moments -- then we got down to business. How did we plan to make this year better than the last?

My students always had great ideas. Several planned to work harder in school. These resolutions warmed my teacher-heart. Others planned to learn a new skill or hone an old one. We had budding musicians and ready-to-be-professional athletes. Some planned to keep their rooms neater or help their families more. I enjoyed hearing all of their resolutions. Then they asked me for mine.

          “I plan to be kind.” My students were puzzled. “But you are kind,” they would argue. My teacher-heart glowed.

Students are great at giving their teachers the “benefit of the doubt.” They are so full of love that they project love onto everyone they meet. This goes double for teachers and parents. Their “kindness gauge” moves easily upward. All I had to do is call on them when they raised their hands, let them help with some little chore, read them a great story, or praise their classwork. I loved them and that was enough.

My kindness gauge had a harder time moving north. I knew the little thorns in my nature that kept me from being as kind as I should be. I wanted to be Mr. Rogers, but I was only me. My resolution failed over and over as my temper flared or my patience flagged. I grumbled at the “flaws” of others and groused about my responsibilities. Unlike Fred, I did not see everyone as “special.” I did not like everyone “just the way [they] are.”

So no matter how hard I tried to keep this resolution, it went the way of all other New Year’s resolutions in many respects. I “went to the gym” to work on my kindness muscles but often skipped a work out. I “dieted” from unkind thoughts and actions then pigged-out on sarcasm when my will-power failed. But this resolution always succeeded in an important way. While I failed, my students did not. Having heard my resolution, my students became kinder. They became nicer to me and to each other. They pushed the kindness gauge through the roof. Oh, they were still kids, but now they noticed when someone was kind.  

“That was so nice when you picked up Tommy’s crayons for him.”

 “Thanks for letting me get ahead of you in the lunch line.”

“Thanks for including my friend in the game.”

“You can share my book. It’s more fun to read with a friend.”

Again this year, I will make my resolution. I will try to be kind. Although I don’t have a class full of little supporters anymore, I will remember the kindness my students showed me and try to pass it along. I hope my kindness gauge will rise, but more earnestly, I hope my efforts make yours rise too.