The Buck Stops Here

 

    The Buck Stops Here

When I was in middle school, a friend, “Mandy,” brought in her grandfather’s WWII “dog tags” for a history report. A classmate, “Tommy,” asked to borrow the tags for his next class. At lunchtime, Mandy asked for the tags. Tommy checked his pockets. No tags. Mandy, Tommy, several friends, and the custodian searched frantically. The tags had disappeared. 

At home, Mandy, sobbing, told her mother about the lost tags. 

Mom: “Those tags are irreplaceable. You will have to apologize to Grandpa.” 

Mandy: “But it wasn’t my fault! My friend lost them!”

Mom: “You took them to school. You were responsible. You must apologize.”

Again and again, Mandy denied responsibility. Mom stood her ground. Mandy wept and begged. Mom stood her ground. Finally, Mandy called Grandpa, confessed, and apologized. Mandy was furious with her mother for weeks. We were too. But now, looking back, as a mother and grandmother, I realize that Mandy’s mom taught all of us a valuable lesson.

In today’s society, denying blame has become almost a sport. “I made a mistake,” has become, “Mistakes were made.” Terrible things happened but circumstances, not my decisions, caused them. Someone higher up caused the problem. Someone lower-down dropped the ball. Public figures deny responsibility. Players blame the coach. Driver’s blame traffic. Kids blame their parents and parents blame the grandparents. When errors are made, scapegoats are sought. 

In October of 1945, President Harry Truman received a desk plaque, made at the Federal Reformatory at Reno, Oklahoma, which proclaimed: “The Buck Stops Here.” The saying derives from the slang expression "pass the buck" which means passing the responsibility on to someone else. “Give ‘Em Hell” Harry proudly displayed it on his desk in the Oval office.

In an address at the National War College in 1952, Truman said, "You know, it's easy for the Monday morning quarterback to say what the coach should have done after the game is over. But when the decision is up before you -- and on my desk I have a motto which says The Buck Stops Here' -- the decision has to be made." In his farewell address, President Truman referred to this concept very specifically, "The President--whoever he is--has to decide. He can't pass the buck to anybody. No one else can do the deciding for him. That's his job.”

A president, a leader, a mother, a daughter — we all have to take responsibility for our actions. When leaders baldly state, “I take no responsibility” for crises in our nation, the practice of shifting blame trickles down from nation to state to community to families to children. What lessons are being learned? 

Accepting responsibility for your actions is a step to maturing as an adult. Adults “do the deciding.” That’s their job. Helping Mandy take responsibility for losing the tags was her mom’s job. It wasn’t easy or pleasant but it was right. 

“The Buck Stops Here,” no longer graces the president’s desk but it must be written into every responsible citizens’ conscience. Mandy’s mom knew this. Mandy learned it. She’s teaching it to her children now. The “buck,” for taking responsibility, passes on. 

The Eternal Struggle

 

The Eternal Struggle 

In the musical 1776, John Adams and Benjamin Franklin are discussing their place in history. Adams scoffs: “I won’t appear in the history books, anyway — only you. Franklin did this, Franklin did that … Franklin smote the ground, and out sprang George Washington, fully grown and on his horse. Franklin then electrified him with his miraculous lightning rod, and the three of them — Franklin, Washington, and the horse — conducted the entire Revolution all by themselves.”

History books remember Washington, Franklin, and Adams as great men but, when examined by the standards of today, they were greatly flawed. How has our nation survived despite the flaws of our leaders? Because, when our leaders have not been great, our people have.

Jon Meacham notes in The Soul of America: The Battle for Our Better Angels, that Americans are ever engaged in an “eternal struggle” with a “history that’s shaped us.” We don’t like the messiness of history. We look for demigods and find men. We look for victory and find dishonor. We condemn injustices of the past while looking past the injustices of our own times. Harry Truman noted: “The next generation never learns anything from the previous one until it’s brought home with a hammer… until they get knocked on the head by experience.” 

History knocks us on the head when we forget how it shaped our nation. Citizens well-versed in history make good decisions. Making choices and taking positions without reference to the past result in very sore heads.

Quick to criticize our leaders, we forgot how they gained power. Harry Truman wrote, “The country has to awaken to the fact that the people are responsible for the government they get. And when they elect a man to the presidency who doesn’t take care of the job, they’ve got nobody to blame but themselves.” 

Quick to blame the other side, we neglect to research the issues which divide us. Eleanor Roosevelt wrote, “It is not only important but mentally invigorating to discuss political matters with people whose opinions differ radically from one’s own… Find out what people are saying, what they are thinking, what they believe. This is an invaluable check on one’s own ideas.” Are we willing to check our own ideas by learning what others are thinking? 

It is the responsibility of every citizen to study history in order to intelligently consider today’s issues. Thomas Jefferson wrote, “Wherever the people are well-informed they can be trusted with their own government. Whenever things get so far wrong as to attract their notice, they may be relied on to set them to rights.” Harry Truman wrote, “The people have often made mistakes but given time and the facts, they will make corrections.” Are we prepared to make corrections? 

Study history. Be informed. Consider all sides. Make corrections. Choose good leaders. 

Eleanor Roosevelt wrote, “Great leaders we have had, but we could not have had great leaders unless they had a great people to follow. You cannot be a great leader unless the people are great.” 

Be great. 

Everyone Makes Mistakes

 

Everyone Makes Mistakes

Big Bird, the tallest resident of Sesame Street, sings a chorus that I like: “Everyone makes mistakes. Oh, yes they do. Your sister and your brother and your dad and mother too; Big people, small people, matter of fact, all people. Everyone makes mistakes, so why can't you?” I I sang this song thousands of times to my students. Whenever a dropped bottle of glue, missed math question, or misread sentence caused a quivering lip, I’d belt it out.

Mistakes are inevitable. The important thing is how we, and, others, react. Madeline Levine, in her book, Ready or Not: Preparing our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World, suggests that children (and their parents) should look at mistakes as opportunities to learn: “a chance to rethink the problem, challenge our assumptions, consider alternatives, and move closer to getting it right.”

The modern world is moving at a tremendous pace. Our assumptions about what might happen in the next year, month, week, day, or minute are constantly being challenged. Operating on what we know now, we are almost guaranteed to be making multiple mistakes in a world of constant change. Children must be encouraged to look at their errors as opportunities to learn rather than to panic. 

When mistakes happened in my classroom, I’d often sing Big Bird’s song with one added line: “Everyone makes mistakes and so do I.” My students needed to know that they weren’t the only ones who made mistakes. I made plenty — many more than they ever could. I admitted my mistake and asked my students for suggestions for solving my problem. They had lots. Many times their solutions were much better than my original plan. We’d stop for a minute to discuss these solutions and then choose one to try. It was great fun.

Levine suggests that parents and teachers acknowledge their own mistakes and model problem-solving with optimism and good humor. Children learn by watching their parents. If parents throw up their hands, lash out, or blame others when they make a mistake, their children will most likely do the same. If parents laugh about the mistake, take a minute to consider options, and try another way, their children will too. Mistakes are a part of growing up, just like learning to tie your shoes or ride a bike. When at first you make a mistake, try, try again.

Step back when tempted to solve your child’s minor problems. When adults solve all their children’s problems, children may give up trying. Levine warns, “When we shield children from failure or choreograph successes for them, we’re distorting the experiences they need to grow.” Provide safe opportunities for trial and error. When mistakes occur, discuss them, let children make suggestions, try them, and find out for themselves whether they work or not. 

Big Bird is a happy bird because he knows that his friends love him no matter how many mistakes he makes. Children must feel the same. 

(All quotations are from Madeline Levine: Ready or Not: Preparing our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World. I highly recommend reading it!)

Embracive

 

Embracive

The world today might be described by a series of three words all ending with -ive. Observing the injustices of today, the anger in politics, the disrespect for one another's’ opinions, the violence perpetrated against individuals and groups of peoples, the first describing word is abrasive. 

The Oxford Dictionary defines the word abrasive as showing little concern for the feelings of others. Problems arise because we as individuals, we as citizens, we as nations, show little concern for the feelings, or rights, of others. We want what is ours and we disregard the needs of others. As long as we are well-fed, well-housed, well-cared-for, and well-liked, we care little for the well-being of others. This philosophy leads to NIMBY (not-in-my-backyard) policies, nationalism (my country must come first), and isolationism (the rest of the world is not my concern). National leaders spar, nations dissolve agreements, neighbors argue, families split. 

In 1787, a group met in Philadelphia to forge an agreement to unite a divided nation. The last decades had been abrasive. After years of oppression, resistance, invasion, and war, a tattered new nation struggled to form. Each representative arrived at the convention with an agenda. The very air felt abrasive as delegates battled over states’ rights, slavery, finances, land, taxes, representation, and leadership. Yet out of this chorus of division, an anthem of inclusion emerged. Our Constitution begins, “We the people.” Our new nation, formed to be inclusive (a second -ive word), would cleave together for the benefit of all. 

Almost immediately, abrasive critics attacked this inclusive vision. Yet, we hung on through international and internal wars, immigration and migration, demonstrations and oppressions, elections and court decisions. Every time something pulled us apart, our vision of “We the people,” pulled us together. Our nation struggled to remain inclusive.

Supreme Court Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg understood that the Constitution’s, “We the people,” implies inclusion for every person and group in America. She wanted more for our nation. The justice wanted, “a more “embracive” Constitution—one that embraced previously excluded groups … not just grudgingly,… but with open arms.” An embracive nation opens its arms to embrace all people — to secure the rights and liberties of all of its citizens and to extend these same rights and liberties to the citizens of the world. “We the people” will not truly be we until all people are embraced. 

We — individually, as a nation, and as an interrelated world — must move past abrasive through inclusive to embracive. To survive (another -ive word), we must work together. To thrive, we must open our arms. Locked in opened arms, we grow strong.

(Quotation from Jeffrey Rosen, Justice Ginsburg’s friend and president of the National Constitution Center in Philadelphia which is located opposite Independence Hall.)

Troubled Times

 

Troubled Times

1963 was a tumultuous year. Shaken by the Cuban Missile Crisis, Americans realized that they were not as safe as they thought they were. World governments began negotiations to ban the testing of nuclear weapons. A “hotline” was connected between Washington and Moscow. 

The nation was also rocked by the civil rights movement. In January, George Wallace declared “segregation now, segregation tomorrow, and segregation forever.” In June he stood in the “schoolhouse” door to protest integration. In April, Martin Luther King, Jr. and other leaders of the Civil Rights movement were jailed in Birmingham for conducting a peaceful demonstration. On June 11^th, President Kennedy made a historic Civil Rights speech, promising equal rights for all Americans. The following day, African-American activist Medgar Evers was murdered in Mississippi.  

In April, the U.S. nuclear submarine, the Thresher, imploded -- killing all 129 men on board. In May, “Bull” Connor, Public Safety Commissioner in Birmingham, AL, set fire hoses and police dogs on anti-segregation marchers, many of whom were college students and children. In June, the Supreme Court ruled that Bible reading in schools was unconstitutional. In August, a quarter of a million people gathered on the Washington Mall to show support for the civil rights movement. In September, the 16^th Street Baptist Church was bombed before Sunday services. Four little girls were killed. We all remember what happened in Dallas in November. 

1963 was a very hard year.

Our nation survived 1963. Crises weaken or strengthen us. When Martin Luther King. Jr. was jailed, his leadership in the movement was criticized. He responded with his famous “Letter From Birmingham Jail” in which he wrote: Injustice anywhere is a threat to justice everywhere. We are caught in an inescapable network of mutuality, tied in a single garment of destiny. Whatever affects one directly, affects all indirectly…. 

President Kennedy called for world peace: What kind of peace do I mean and what kind of a peace do we seek? …the kind of peace that makes life on earth worth living, and the kind that enables men and nations to grow, and to hope, and build a better life for their children—not merely peace for Americans but peace for all men and women, not merely peace in our time but peace in all time. Addressing the issue of civil rights, he stated that, this Nation... will not be fully free until all its citizens are free... Now the time has come for this Nation to fulfill its promise.

Are we yet living in the world these leaders described? Maybe not; but we have not given up. We realize that we must be part of that “network of mutuality” which continues to work for “peace in all time.” We know that we “will not be fully free” until all are free. What people are not yet free? Are we still working for peace for all time? Do we yet understand that we are “tied in a single garment of destiny”? Do we now agree that what affects one of us, affects us all? 

The crises of 1963 did not cripple us. We were knocked down, but we picked ourselves up and went on. As we confront the crises of today, let us not forget the lessons of 1963. Let us continue to work so that this nation can “fulfill its promise” to the world.  

Most-prized Possession

 

Most Prized Possession

In 2004, we visited our daughter, a Peace Corps volunteer, in Namibia, Africa. After seeing her work and enjoying the overwhelming hospitably of the people of her village, we visited the homestead of a family in the Himba tribe. The Himba people are hunter-gatherers and subsistence farmers relying on their cattle and goats for housing, clothing, and food. When we arrived, we were welcomed by the patriarch who introduced us to his wife and children. Proudly, he showed us his cattle. Cattle are an indication of wealth in the Himba culture. He drew milk from a cow into a goatskin pouch and invited us into the family’s home that was constructed from goatskins.

Inside, we gathered into a circle around a central fire pit. As we passed around the milk pouch  to sample the fresh milk, the family pointed out their furnishings, crafts, and jewelry made by the women, and farming tools, all the while laughing with one another. The Himba use a paste, called otjize, made from butterfat and ochre pigment to protect their hair and skin from the hot climate and insects. The matriarch demonstrated how she ground up the ochre, an orange-colored clay, mixed it with fat, and created the paste. She then offered to share it with us. We laughed together as she painted our daughter’s face a bright orange. 

Through our interpreter, the mother offered to show us her most prized possession. We were expecting to see another useful tool or even a goat. Excitedly, she held out her voter registration card. Namibia’s voting campaign that year had encouraged everyone in cities, villages, and rural areas to register.  In their traditional dress, each citizen had been photographed and registered. This card showed our hostess, hair and face painted with otjize, smiling broadly. 

Voting is a right Americans share with the people of Namibia. Our homes and cultures may differ but our duties as citizens are the same. We have a duty to register and to vote. Our Himba hostess was proud of her right to vote. Are we as proud? If you were asked to share your most-prized possessions, would your right-to-vote be on the list?  

As we left the Himba homestead, children ran waving after us. We remember the bittersweet milk, the goatskin house, the orange otjize, and the laughing family. We also remember the pride on the face of a busy woman who knows that she has a voice in her nation’s future. Be sure to have a voice in yours. 

Register today. Vote.

The Truth

 

The Truth

“Whenever I feel afraid, I hold my head erect, and whistle a happy tune, so no one will suspect, I’m afraid.” These lyrics by Oscar Hammerstein from the musical “The King and I” echo in my head. How often we are afraid! Could whistling really help?

In this little song, Anna is teaching her son about having confidence in himself. When he feels afraid, he is to “strike a careless pose” or act as if he is confident. When he acts this way, he will appear poised and “fool the people [he] fears” and, more importantly, himself. When he believes that he is fearless, he will act bravely. The whistling is a trick or cue to help him remember that he can be confident in his abilities.

Why can he be confident? Is it just because he thinks he has courage or is it because he has something to base his courage on? The values he brings with him, the truths he stands on, give him the support he needs to go forth confidently. His mother has taught him well.

What truths do we stand on today? I am sure that they are wide and varied. We have different cultural, religious, and family backgrounds. Our differences may cause conflict. We are encouraged to stand up for what we believe yet we all believe differently.

Dr. Frank Crane calls this “The Uproar” in Volume 9 of his Four Minute Essays published in 1919. At that time everyone then was screaming about their own particular take on the “truth.” The world had just fought a war over it. Dr. Crane felt that this tumult was not based on conviction, but on the lack of it. “Truth is the one indestructible, evergreen, eternally persistent thing on earth. All we have to do is to See it, to Believe in it, to Adjust our lives, thought, and speech to it, and wait. By and by it always wins.”

Truth is not something to shout about or fight over. It is something to be lived. Truth is obstinate. Truth prevails. People who believe in truth can be quiet because “they have hold of the one thing that cannot fail.” They can whistle in the dark because they have seen the light.

We may never completely agree on what “truth” is, but rather than shout at one another, might it not be better to live the truth we believe? Dr. Crane believed that “out of Truth flows Peace.” 

When Anna met the King of Siam, she found that she had a lot to whistle about. His truth and hers did not mesh. But they came to a mutual understanding because they developed a respect for one another. Perhaps if we harmonize our truth with respect we will create a new melody of peace. I can whistle that tune. How about you?