Everyone Makes Mistakes

 

Everyone Makes Mistakes

Big Bird, the tallest resident of Sesame Street, sings a chorus that I like: “Everyone makes mistakes. Oh, yes they do. Your sister and your brother and your dad and mother too; Big people, small people, matter of fact, all people. Everyone makes mistakes, so why can't you?” I I sang this song thousands of times to my students. Whenever a dropped bottle of glue, missed math question, or misread sentence caused a quivering lip, I’d belt it out.

Mistakes are inevitable. The important thing is how we, and, others, react. Madeline Levine, in her book, Ready or Not: Preparing our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World, suggests that children (and their parents) should look at mistakes as opportunities to learn: “a chance to rethink the problem, challenge our assumptions, consider alternatives, and move closer to getting it right.”

The modern world is moving at a tremendous pace. Our assumptions about what might happen in the next year, month, week, day, or minute are constantly being challenged. Operating on what we know now, we are almost guaranteed to be making multiple mistakes in a world of constant change. Children must be encouraged to look at their errors as opportunities to learn rather than to panic. 

When mistakes happened in my classroom, I’d often sing Big Bird’s song with one added line: “Everyone makes mistakes and so do I.” My students needed to know that they weren’t the only ones who made mistakes. I made plenty — many more than they ever could. I admitted my mistake and asked my students for suggestions for solving my problem. They had lots. Many times their solutions were much better than my original plan. We’d stop for a minute to discuss these solutions and then choose one to try. It was great fun.

Levine suggests that parents and teachers acknowledge their own mistakes and model problem-solving with optimism and good humor. Children learn by watching their parents. If parents throw up their hands, lash out, or blame others when they make a mistake, their children will most likely do the same. If parents laugh about the mistake, take a minute to consider options, and try another way, their children will too. Mistakes are a part of growing up, just like learning to tie your shoes or ride a bike. When at first you make a mistake, try, try again.

Step back when tempted to solve your child’s minor problems. When adults solve all their children’s problems, children may give up trying. Levine warns, “When we shield children from failure or choreograph successes for them, we’re distorting the experiences they need to grow.” Provide safe opportunities for trial and error. When mistakes occur, discuss them, let children make suggestions, try them, and find out for themselves whether they work or not. 

Big Bird is a happy bird because he knows that his friends love him no matter how many mistakes he makes. Children must feel the same. 

(All quotations are from Madeline Levine: Ready or Not: Preparing our Kids to Thrive in an Uncertain and Rapidly Changing World. I highly recommend reading it!)