Slow Talking

Slow Talking

Some years ago, I had the opportunity to spend the summer teaching English to a group of Taiwanese students. It was a great job which included sightseeing tours at our nation’s historic attractions. 

Rising in the elevator to the top of the Washington Monument, we met a young, hearing-impaired woman. She was very interested in my students and asked several questions through her interpreter. She would sign a question, her friend would speak it aloud for me, and I would repeat it to the Taiwanese girls. Then we reversed the process, the girls asking, me repeating, the interpreter signing.  

When we reached the top and were saying farewell, some other tourists commented that this had been an amazing exchange. They were especially impressed with my ‘interpretation’ for the students.

“Do you speak Chinese?” they asked. 

“No,” I said. “I speak slow English.” 

My students spoke some words of English. I knew the Chinese for Hello, How are you? and Quickly, (which is a word that comes in very handy when crossing busy streets.) We communicated well because we had discovered a secret of communication. When you speak slowly understanding speeds up.

         

English is a second language for many of our students today. My Latino students enjoy a good laugh when I try out my high school Spanish on them. My accent is atrocious and I speak only in the present tense. They chatter to each other leaving me clueless. But when we slow down and listen hard, we connect. 

Every year, more and more people pour into our country looking for a chance for a better life. They want to be productive. They want to advance. They want to understand. They want to learn English. But hurry is a way of life here. We have become the United States of rush, rush, rush.

Latin American author Isabelle Allende related this story during a radio interview: When she arrived in the U.S., she spoke not a word of English. A mother with young children, she found it difficult to attend classes. So she did what so many others do; she watched TV hoping to learn English.

“I watched Mr. Rogers along with my children.” she remembered. “He was the only one who spoke slowly enough for me to learn.  I love Mr. Rogers.” 

         

John Adams, founding father and the second President of the United States wrote home to his wife Abigail after a visit he had made to the New York Legislature. He noted that everyone there spoke very quickly and at the same time and that, as a result, no one ever listened to anyone else.

         

While visiting my mother’s family in Italy one summer, my husband, a slow talking man, amazed an entire party by telling a long, funny story -- in Italian! He knew only one Italian word and his audience spoke no English, yet everyone understood him and laughed heartily. 

“Miracolo!” they cried -- a miracle that they attributed to good Italian olio di oliva, mozzarella, and pomodori (tomatoes.)

We have all become New York talkers. We zap messages through cyberspace, by satellite and cable. The world is changing every day at lightning speed. Let’s slow down our speaking and speed up our understanding. 

Speak slowly, listen carefully and learn a lot.

         

         

         

         

Music Hath Charms...

Music hath charms…

When I was a junior in high school, one very enterprising class president managed to get a juke box installed in our cafeteria. In those days, this was a huge novelty. For a quarter, we could play our favorite tunes. 

During lunch, we’d chat while the music played in the background. But there was one song that stopped all our chatter:  California Girls by the Beach Boys. When the opening rhythm began, every kid in the room joined in. As the rhythm washed over us, we’d tap the beat on our tables. Competing harmonies blended in that unmistakable Beach Boys style as we sang along. We became one, no more cliques, classes, nerds or jocks. We were a choir, surfer dudes in landlocked Pennsylvania, swaying and singing together. 

Music has that power. It joins us together. When we sing, we have to stick together. We sing the same words at the same time and keep a measured beat. We harmonize. Our voices blend.

At baseball games, we stretch at the seventh inning and sing, Take Me Out to the Ball Game. Every football team has its fight song. Every country has an anthem lovingly belted out at sporting events and national ceremonies. Many have five or six verses known by citizens young and old.    

Political parties rally supporters with rousing theme songs. Supporters of John Adams, our second president, used the tune from a popular drinking song as an anthem for his re-election campaign. That same melody, later joined to a poem by Francis Scott Key, gave us our national anthem. 

We sing hymns as we raise our thoughts and souls to a higher power. The Civil rights organizers used spirituals to pull people together and change dividing laws peacefully.  

My husband and his friends lead sing-alongs in retirement homes. They bring their guitars, harmonicas, keyboards and tambourines and belt out the old time favorites.  Everyone sings. It’s amazing how many songs senior citizens know. Even those with failing memories pull the words from deep within. And boy do they have fun. Clapping and singing, smiling and laughing, they ask for just one more tune.

Remember those long car trips we used to take? Singing helped the time pass.  How many verses of Old MacDonald did it take to get from home to Grandma’s? Camp songs evoke lazy summer evenings spent roasting marshmallows over a fire. How many bottles of ‘pop’ were really on that wall?

Children love to sing. At school, we started every day with a song. Singing helped us focus. We left the cares of home behind as we joined together as a community of learners. We were many, yet we were one.

There was one other song that stopped us cold in that high school cafeteria long ago. It was a sappy love song sung by Dean Martin. We couldn’t imagine how it even got in our jukebox, being as cool as we were back then. But we always sang anyway.  Everybody loves somebody sometime…  

           

Sing with your children. Sing with your friends, your co-workers, your congregation, your ball team and your rivals. It doesn’t really matter if you know all the words nor have a good voice. Just sing. Be part of a community. 

Join in. 

A Dangerous Child

A Dangerous Child

A number of years ago, my cousin and her lively four-year-old daughter Kay came to visit. Naturally, we took them sightseeing. Walking through the picturesque village of Intercourse in Lancaster County, Kay and my own eight-year-old daughter bounced along between my cousin and me. The sidewalks were crowded with tourists enjoying the beauty of the countryside. As we walked single-file, my cousin first, then Kay, my daughter, and I, along the narrow sidewalk, we came to a place which had been blocked off for construction. Seeing that we would have to step into the road to pass, my cousin reached back for Kay's hand.  Kay, not wanting to hold her mother's hand, pulled away-- directly into the path of a pick-up truck.

Tires squealed, the crowd gasped, and a woman behind me screamed. I grabbed Kay's sleeve and snatched her away from the truck to safety. While my cousin, who I must say has nerves of steel, quietly applied the appropriate discipline to Kay, I tried to calm the shaken tourist behind us who kept sobbing, "I didn't come all this way to see something like that."

On that day, Kay had been a child in danger and a dangerous child. The danger of the truck was obvious, the dangerousness of her attitude more subtle. Kay had decided at the tender age of four to be a defiant child. She hadn't wanted to hold her mother's hand so she had pulled away into danger. A defiant child is a child in danger.

As a teacher I came in contact with many defiant children: children who think they know better than their elders, children who want their own way, children who choose not to obey. A defiant child disregards the rules. A defiant child doesn't obey the first time. A defiant child doesn't come when called, doesn't stop when cautioned, doesn't wait when asked. Sneaking around the rules and hiding behind a sly smile, the defiant child takes the risks every parent wishes their child to avoid.

These children have not come to this place of danger by themselves. They have been helped along every step of the way by their parents. Children come into this world with guardians-- their parents.  A guardian's job is to guide, provide, and protect. Parents today work hard to provide every need, real or imagined, of their child. But many over-stressed busy parents have neglected the guiding aspect of parenthood. Afraid to mar the precious few minutes of quality time they spend with their child, they compromise over bedtimes, waffle about household rules, and negotiate endlessly to achieve a few minutes of peace.

On that long ago day, my cousin didn't waffle, compromise, or negotiate with Kay. She let her know in no uncertain terms that her defiant behavior would not be tolerated. My cousin and her husband take the guardianship of all of their children seriously. They set rules and keep them. They train their children to trust and obey their judgment. They love their children enough to discipline them and keep them from danger.  

Every parent wishes to keep his/her child from danger. Parents must decide which guidelines they will set for their children, set them, and stick to them. Train your child to obey the first time. One, Watch out for that car!  obeyed is worth a thousand, If only she had listened's.

Get up out of your chair and make them listen. Guide them, correct them, and discipline them; it’s the only way to keep them truly safe.

A few weeks ago, I was walking with my sister-in-law and her four small children along a quiet tree-lined lane. The children were running about one hundred feet ahead of us when we heard the roar of an all-terrain vehicle racing through the corn field that flanked the line of trees.  In horror, we realized that the ATV would cross the road just ahead of the point where the children were running. 

We were too far away to ever reach them in time. Quickly my sister-in-law called out,

"Everybody stand still!" 

And those four children, those well-loved, well-trained, safe from the danger of defiance children, all stopped dead in their tracks -- or should I say, alive in their tracks as the ATV roared harmlessly in front of them.

Breathing a prayer of gratitude, I was glad that I had come all this way to see something like that.

Ready or Not?

Ready? Or not?

Gina is all ready for school. She has her “Frozen” book bag and her “Spiderman” sneakers. She’s picked out her first-day-of-school outfit and decided which friend she will sit next to on the bus. She can recite her ABCs and write her name. Her parents have the camera ready and they are all set for the big day.

Gina may not be as ready as she and her parents think. There’s more to school than lunch boxes and ABCs. Children need adequate preparation for the high-stakes world education has become. Concerned parents are the first and best asset a child can have. Teach your child about the world of school. Add some fun to your lessons; make getting ready for school a pleasure for you and your child. Here are some suggestions for making school an exciting adventure for you both.

·       Don’t just sing the alphabet song:

     We all know it; “A,B,C,D … next time won’t you sing with me.” Children need letter awareness but this traditional little ditty teaches children a string of sounds they may not comprehend. How many of us thought “LMONP” was the name of one letter? Language begins with thoughts, concepts, words, sentences, and lastly, letters. Help your child feel language.

     “RRRRufffff,” says the dog.

     “MMMMMoooooooo!” says the cow.

     Make connections between sounds and letters:

“Top starts with the same sound as Tommy.”

“Marshmallows make Molly mumble.”

“Milk and moo both come from cows.

     So when singing the song, help your child learn the language of the letters.

·       Sing, sing, sing!

Music involves rhythm, rhyme, melody, timing, and more. Teach your child many types of songs. Dance with the rhythm. Bang wooden spoons in time to the beat. Play games with songs. Leave out the last word to practice rhyming: “This Old Man he plays two, he plays knick, knack on his shoe” or glue, or gnu, or stew!

     What funny images will your child envision by changing just one word?  Illustrate your silly song.  Pass out rhythm instruments and play along. “What rhythm instruments?” you ask? Plastic jars filled with beans make great maracas. Pot-lid cymbals and stew-pot drums sound lovely in a pots and pans symphony.

Listen to many versions of the same song. What’s different? What’s the same? Listen carefully; try something new. Music hath charms to teach the savvy child.

·       Jump up! Jump down! Turn all around!

Help your child follow two- and three-step directions. Often a teacher will say something like, “Find your orange crayon and color the pumpkin.” This may not seem complicated but many children have trouble going more than one step.

     Make it a game. Add one more step each time. “Pick up your sweater, carry it to the hook, and hang it up.” “Wash your face first, your belly next, then your elbow.”  Let your child give you directions. Make mistakes.  Laugh a lot.

·       Math is life!

Math is not some subject in school that we all dread. Math is everywhere. Math is the great puzzle of life. If Aunt Joan comes over with your three cousins, how many plates will we need on the table?” Even if your child can’t count, he can lay out one plate for Aunt Joan, one for Erica, one for Joanna, and one for Caleb. One-to-one correspondence is a basic concept of math.

Make up riddles: If there are 12 legs at a party, how many children are there? How many horses? Draw pictures and figure it out. Make a giant paper doll by tracing your child and then compare it to toys, furniture, and appliances.

Play math games in the car, in the store, at the zoo – everywhere you go. If it takes three “Wiggles” CDs to get to Granny’s, is the two CD trip to Uncle Jim’s closer or farther? How can we split six cookies among three children?  Make math fun and it will be E-Z for your child in school.

·       Practice focusing.

This is a tough one. Sitting still is boring. Yet lots of time in school is spent using this skill. It must be learned like any other. Sit together and share a book.  Assemble a puzzle. Build a tower of blocks or draw a picture. Do not sit in front of the TV. Television is a passive medium. School is a participatory event. Children must be focused and actively engaged in learning.  Keep the body still, but your mind moving. 

·       Learn to listen.

Listening skills are paramount in most learning situations. Your child needs to be an active listener, sorting, categorizing, rearranging, and digesting a huge amount of verbal material each day. Listening to children’s radio or recordings helps your child to develop this skill. Listen with your child and then discuss what you have heard. Again, turn off the television. The scattered visual images television offers impair the concentration skills necessary for active learning.  Sit still and let music wash over you like waves from the ocean.  Listen to the still small voice of your child as he learns to listen to the world.

·       Write Your Child’s Name in Many Different Ways.

It’s great when a child can recognize and write his/her name. Every school today seems to have its own system of handwriting. If you know which school your child will be attending, take the time to check this out. Make sure that your child sees his name written in many different styles, upper and lower case. Use that font feature of your computer: Writing my name can be lots of fun!

·       Use proper English at home.

Now is the time for all good parents to come to the aid of their children. Baby babble sounds sweet coming from a toddler but sour coming from a big school boy. Be a good model. Use good grammar. Make this a habit for your child.

It is much harder to give up “brang” than to grow up saying brought. Reading and writing will be much less of a chore for a child who naturally uses correct grammar. Enunciate distinctly. Clear pronunciation helps tremendously with spelling. Sure English is a crazy language with more exceptions than rules, but don’t make it a “second language” for your child by allowing lazy grammar and pronunciation to trip them up.

·       Practice small motor skills.

Use those little fingers and toes. Spread cereal “O’s on the table and let little Robby pick them up with a lollipop stick. Roll small pieces of clay into balls and make a pile of peas. Grab the washcloth with your toes in the tub. Put olives on all of your fingertips and eat them one at a time. Jiggle them around to make an olive puppet theater. Wink, blink, and wiggle your nose. Primary students are expected to use pencils, crayons, and scissors. Exercising the small muscles in hands with fun activities like these develops the dexterity needed to write, color, and cut.

·       Build BK.

Background knowledge that is. Give your child a multitude of experiences from which to draw in order to make those all-important learning connections. Get out and explore the world. Start in your own back yard and enter the world of science.  Follow bees and butterflies. Study the geography of the park. Explore the wonders of the forest. Learn about other cultures in specialty stores or ethnic restaurants or just by visiting your neighbors. Visit a farm, a fire station, or a police barracks. Open up your child’s eyes and ears to the great big world.

·       Curiouser and Curiouser.

Why, why, why? It’s a three-year-old’s favorite question. But in today’s hurry-up world, we don’t often enough take the time to encourage a child’s natural curiosity. A good student needs to ask why – and what, when, where, and how.

Encourage questions. You don’t have to know the answers.  Let your child experiment. What happens if we don’t put the gelatin in the refrigerator? Will it gel on the counter? How long will it take a little piece of soap to dissolve in the tub? Guide your child in using the many resources available today in the library and on the Web. Let them ask! Then, let them seek and find – or wonder some more.

·       Read! Read! Read!

     Never were three more important words written about preparing a child for school. Reading to your child creates an explosion of learning. Reading involves all the skills listed above: listen to the letters, feel the rhythm, hear the rhyme, follow the direction of the story, sequence the events, sit still and concentrate, build background knowledge, ask questions, comprehend and evaluate, hear the flow of the language, note the different print in each book, and follow the left-to-right progression of the sentences with your fingers and eyes.  

Make reading with your child a priority.  Do it first, not after all else is done. Studies show that reading to a child just twenty minutes a day from the age of six months can raise a student’s high school achievement scores up to 150 points.

Enjoy yourself! Do the funny voices. Daddy does a great Big Bad Wolf, but listen to the scary one little Jimmy can do. Stop and ask questions. Wonder why aloud. Record yourself reading your child’s favorites and make wonderful keepsakes. Keep the computer in the kitchen to look things up. Treat books like treasures and your child’s life will be full of golden memories and silver dreams.

Now your child is ready for the exciting adventure awaiting her in school. Propel your child into the world of learning by preparing him/her at home with the necessary skills. No teaching degree is necessary, just a sense of fun and a joy in learning. Watch out world, ready or not, here they come!