A Dangerous Child

A Dangerous Child

A number of years ago, my cousin and her lively four-year-old daughter Kay came to visit. Naturally, we took them sightseeing. Walking through the picturesque village of Intercourse in Lancaster County, Kay and my own eight-year-old daughter bounced along between my cousin and me. The sidewalks were crowded with tourists enjoying the beauty of the countryside. As we walked single-file, my cousin first, then Kay, my daughter, and I, along the narrow sidewalk, we came to a place which had been blocked off for construction. Seeing that we would have to step into the road to pass, my cousin reached back for Kay's hand.  Kay, not wanting to hold her mother's hand, pulled away-- directly into the path of a pick-up truck.

Tires squealed, the crowd gasped, and a woman behind me screamed. I grabbed Kay's sleeve and snatched her away from the truck to safety. While my cousin, who I must say has nerves of steel, quietly applied the appropriate discipline to Kay, I tried to calm the shaken tourist behind us who kept sobbing, "I didn't come all this way to see something like that."

On that day, Kay had been a child in danger and a dangerous child. The danger of the truck was obvious, the dangerousness of her attitude more subtle. Kay had decided at the tender age of four to be a defiant child. She hadn't wanted to hold her mother's hand so she had pulled away into danger. A defiant child is a child in danger.

As a teacher I came in contact with many defiant children: children who think they know better than their elders, children who want their own way, children who choose not to obey. A defiant child disregards the rules. A defiant child doesn't obey the first time. A defiant child doesn't come when called, doesn't stop when cautioned, doesn't wait when asked. Sneaking around the rules and hiding behind a sly smile, the defiant child takes the risks every parent wishes their child to avoid.

These children have not come to this place of danger by themselves. They have been helped along every step of the way by their parents. Children come into this world with guardians-- their parents.  A guardian's job is to guide, provide, and protect. Parents today work hard to provide every need, real or imagined, of their child. But many over-stressed busy parents have neglected the guiding aspect of parenthood. Afraid to mar the precious few minutes of quality time they spend with their child, they compromise over bedtimes, waffle about household rules, and negotiate endlessly to achieve a few minutes of peace.

On that long ago day, my cousin didn't waffle, compromise, or negotiate with Kay. She let her know in no uncertain terms that her defiant behavior would not be tolerated. My cousin and her husband take the guardianship of all of their children seriously. They set rules and keep them. They train their children to trust and obey their judgment. They love their children enough to discipline them and keep them from danger.  

Every parent wishes to keep his/her child from danger. Parents must decide which guidelines they will set for their children, set them, and stick to them. Train your child to obey the first time. One, Watch out for that car!  obeyed is worth a thousand, If only she had listened's.

Get up out of your chair and make them listen. Guide them, correct them, and discipline them; it’s the only way to keep them truly safe.

A few weeks ago, I was walking with my sister-in-law and her four small children along a quiet tree-lined lane. The children were running about one hundred feet ahead of us when we heard the roar of an all-terrain vehicle racing through the corn field that flanked the line of trees.  In horror, we realized that the ATV would cross the road just ahead of the point where the children were running. 

We were too far away to ever reach them in time. Quickly my sister-in-law called out,

"Everybody stand still!" 

And those four children, those well-loved, well-trained, safe from the danger of defiance children, all stopped dead in their tracks -- or should I say, alive in their tracks as the ATV roared harmlessly in front of them.

Breathing a prayer of gratitude, I was glad that I had come all this way to see something like that.