The White Glove Test

The White Glove Test

By Lisa Marie Crane

August 23, 2011

My cousin Nanny tells a great story. Nanny was a new mother with a sweet baby girl. Our Aunt Anna was coming to call. Aunt Anna is a kind, loving lady but she had a reputation for having a perfectly clean and neat house despite having three children. Nanny cleaned her house from top to bottom, ready for the ‘white glove test’ she was sure was coming.  

In the middle of the night before the visit, Nanny got up to make a bottle for the baby. Long before the days of microwaves, this involved putting water in a pan on the stove, then setting the bottle of milk in the hot water to warm. Sleep-deprived from caring for an infant and exhausted from a day of scrubbing, Nanny fell asleep while the bottle was warming — forgetting to turn off the burner. 

Whoosh! The bottle exploded. Milk covered walls, floor, and ceiling. Nanny spent the rest of the night re-scrubbing the kitchen.  

I always laughed at that story because I understood both sides. I, like Aunt Anna, like things neat and clean. Like Nanny, I worried about what others would think if everything wasn’t spic and span. Then I read Erma Bombeck.

She wrote: “No one ever died from sleeping in an unmade bed.” And “My theory on housework is, if the item doesn’t multiply, smell, catch fire, or block the refrigerator door, let it be. No one else cares. Why should you?”  

Erma got it right. You can kill yourself cleaning and no one will ever notice. 

Aunt Anna, God love her, never even looked at that house. She only had eyes for baby Joellen.  Who wears ‘white gloves’ when holding a cooing infant?  

When I visit my friends with little ones, I don’t see the fingerprints on the fridge or the towels on the floor. I look around and see the artwork displayed and the photos adorning every wall and surface. I find comfortable chairs and crowded kitchen tables. I see full calendars and much-loved pets. 

Just like Aunt Anna, I focus on the happy kids and the loving parents

It turns out that Erma was a fabulous housekeeper too. But as she neared the end of her life she wrote:  “If I had my life to live over… I would have invited friends over to dinner even when the carpet was stained and the sofa was faded…  I would have eaten popcorn in the ‘good’ living room and worried less about the dirt when someone wanted to light the fireplace…. I would seize every minute, look at it and really see it … live it and never give it back.”  

One of the best parties we ever had was one New Year’s Eve when my daughter neglected to tell us that she had invited her friend’s family over. I had nothing prepared. The house was a mess and we had a ball. 

Aunt Anna, well into her nineties, is still fastidious, but the only thing we see when we walk in her door is her wide smile and her welcoming arms.  

(Addendum: I often visited Aunt Anna with my family and she was always thrilled to see us. She taught us what it meant to love freely and fully. May she rest in heaven – which may spruce itself up a bit now that she is there. Cousin Nanny is with her — raising the roof with her wonderful laugh. May they, and all the mothers we miss, remain close in our hearts.)

Words in the Bank

Words in the Bank

When visiting my family in Italy, I met my two-year-old cousin Bernadetta. She spoke only Italian and I spoke only English. One morning, she asked me, “Dov'è la nonna?” I knew the word Nonna and since Bernadetta was looking around, I figured out that she was looking for her grandmother. I knew where Nonna was — but I had no words to tell Bernadetta. As I looked at her helplessly, I bet she was thinking, “What is wrong with this grown-up who can’t talk?” My Italian word-bank was empty.

Before children can learn to read they must fill their word-banks. New readers must be able to connect sounds and symbols to words they know. Children with larger oral vocabularies have an easier time learning to read. Oral vocabulary is defined as the words students understand from listening and speaking to others. How can parents help children fill their word banks? Talk, listen, and read.

1. Use “big” words. Introduce new and interesting words in everyday conversations. Speak in complete sentences and use context to help your child understand meaning. “The rabbit scampered quickly into his den just ahead of the hawk.” The context suggests the meaning of the new word “scampered.” That rabbit was moving! 

2. Be expressive. Facial expressions, hand gestures, and vocal cues convey meaning. “The bully snickered at his cowering victim.” Snicker and cower. Show the meaning with your voice, expressions, and actions.

3. Sing! “Hakuna Matata” from The Lion King, a song about the meaning of a word, is full of new words: philosophy, aroma, sensitive, downwind, ashamed, downhearted, etc. Stars twinkle, spiders climb water-spouts, and we row merrily. Poems are a great resource. Check out the many rhyming books offered in your library. 

4. Ask questions. Ask your child to explain something he is excited about. “How did you construct your fort?” Encourage our child to ask you questions. 

5. Make new friends. Introduce your child to people from many walks of life. “Tammy works in aeronautics. Tom is a botanist” When appropriate, include them in your adult conversations. Research community workers online to find words related to their work.

6. Enjoy new experiences together. Go camping. See a play. Visit a museum. Add words as you enjoy each others’ company. Research new information together.

7. Highlight new words when you use them. Keep a list of words that interest you and your children. “That Lucy is such a fussbudget. She flabbergasts Schroeder.”

8. Map Words. When you learn a new word, connect it to others your child knows. Expand the map as you make connections. “Clams are bivalves. I wonder if bivalve is connected to bicycles? Let’s find out.” 

9. Make friends with your librarian. Librarians will suggest great books for any interest.

10. READ, READ, READ! Books with illustrations are great resources for filling word-banks. Reading with your children adds interest and builds vocabulary.

Fill your child’s word-bank through conversations, experiences, and shared reading. Deposit words that your child can withdraw when learning to read. 

(This is the fifth in a series about reading success.)

Easy Does It

Easy Does It

Do you remember learning to tie your shoes? Make two bunny ears with the laces, cross one over the other, make the bottom ear go over the top ear and through the hole and pull tight. You concentrated hard and repeated the steps until you got it right. It took a lot of tries but after a while, you could do it without thinking.

Doing anything well requires a lot of practice. Reading well is no exception. To be a good reader you have to read a lot. Good readers develop automaticity or fluency when reading. They don’t have to repeat the steps of reading (phonemic awareness and phonics) every time they read. Fluent readers read smoothly, accurately, and automatically. Non-fluent readers focus so much on decoding words that they lose comprehension and interest. 

Fluency is an indicator of reading success. How can parents help their children become fluent? Easy does it. 

1. Read with your children: Research suggests that you begin reading aloud to your child in utero. No, you don’t have to get inside with them. Hearing the rhythmic patterns of reading can comfort your child. Comforting reading may work better than lullabies for getting fretting children to sleep. After your children are born, share books whenever you can. Share your favorites and let them choose their own. Keep favorites in a special place. Read them often.

2. Model Reading: Read aloud all the time. Read books, screens, instructions, and signs aloud. Ask your child to repeat a sentence you have read. Read smoothly and with expression. Stop to make comments and to allow your child to ask questions. Talk about the story as you read and summarize major plot points. Wonder aloud.

3. Read along. When my daughter was little, we tape-recorded books for her to read by herself later. For her children today, we record audio-files and send them through cyberspace. They love reading along with Grandpop even when he isn’t holding the book. If you can’t record your own reading, read-along recordings are available in the library or online.

4. Choral Reading: Read a passage aloud to your child. Then, invite your child to join in as you read the same passage together. Add siblings or older children to the fun. 

5. Reader’s Theater: Find a familiar story and assign roles. Practice reading it with your child and then plan a performance for another family member or friend. Performing reading helps develop “prosody”— rhythm and intonation. Good actors and good readers add emphasis and emotions to speech. 

6. Independent Reading. Provide books that reflect both your child’s reading level and interests. Ask your librarian to suggest titles. Create an individualized reading space. Carve out time for reading in your child’s schedule.

By receiving explicit modeling, practicing often, and adding expression, readers become fluent. With fluency comes fun. Once readers feel confident, reading becomes less of a chore and more of a pleasure — as easy as tying your shoes.

(This is the fourth in a series about reading success.)

Sweet Medicine

Sweet Medicine

From the moment the policeman directed me, “First to your right, second on your left, sharp right again and you’re there,” I was. My grandmother’s voice led me down past the park and cherry trees to Number 17 Cherry Tree Lane.  I had come to Nana’s summer bungalow planning frolics in the waves, but now I was strolling along the streets of London with Jane and Michael and the incredible Mary Poppins. 

I had always been what you might call a ‘deep reader.’ I didn’t just read a book, I inhabited it. When the wind changed and Mary Poppins blew into the life of Jane and Michael, she blew into mine too. I watched her slide up the banister into the nursery and unpack her incredible carpet bag.  

“What’s a carpet bag?” I asked Nana. 

“Let’s find out,” she answered. Nana was never one to give a story away. We had shared many reading adventures. I was nine and sick in bed yet again. I had lived a vagabond life, moving often with my family and sometimes without them. Nana and books were home to me. 

Together, we jumped into the sidewalk painting with Bert and Mary and rode the carousel, Nana astride a black stallion and me on a spotted pony. Raspberry jam-cakes sounded delicious. We found out that tea meant more than a hot drink to soothe my sore throat, and that a good laugh could raise your spirits to the ceiling. When Nana tipped a teaspoonful of yucky medicine down my throat, I imagined strawberry ice and lime-juice cordial. Nana, like Mary, might have been thinking more of rum punch.  

We both loved the bird-woman. Nana’s neighbor kept pigeons and we pictured them sitting on our shoulders and pecking at our toes. We imagined it tickled. We didn’t know what a tuppence was, but we thought we might have enough to buy a bag or two of seeds.

When the wind changed, and Mary left, Nana and I waved farewell; we knew we could meet Mary again just by opening her book and jumping in.   

Books have always been sweet medicine for me. When I am troubled or stressed, I often think about how characters in my favorite books solved problems with wit, pluck, or humor and wonder whether I might do the same. When I am sad, a happy book cheers me up. When I am angry, a restful story soothes me. Some books take me a thirty-minute vacation – just enough to invigorate my tired soul.  

Every year, teachers read aloud to their students just for the joy of it. Oh yes, we spend many hours teaching phonics, comprehension, and literacy, but our real goal is to build a love of reading into each child. When you love reading, you read, and when you read, you learn phonics, comprehension, and become literate.   

Think back to your school days. Do you remember a special novel that your teacher shared that sticks with you today?  My daughter still remembers her second-grade teacher reading James and the Giant Peach. Thera went on to read all of the Roald Dahl books just because her teacher showed so much joy when she read it. 

How many times has your child held up a book and stated, “My teacher read this!” and then decided to read it again? How many times have you fallen into a book with your child and entered a wonderland together?   

Nana left us when I was fifteen, but her love of stories has continued to feed and comfort me. When I read the books we shared or when I read aloud to children, I feel her holding my hand and warming my spirit and I sip the sweet medicine only love can give.

Melting Down

Melting Down

I was born with a clock ticking in my head. I must be on time — or early. As the minutes tick closer to my self-imposed deadline, my blood pressure rises. One of the first things that endeared my husband to me was that he was always twenty minutes early for our dates. Somehow, I am sandwiched between a mother and daughter who have only a passing acquaintance with time. I’ve  had more meltdowns about time than Salvador Dali’s famous dripping clock.

All of us have personal areas of stress. Many of these are self-imposed. We are very hard on ourselves — no outside grading needed. Small children melt down when their plans are thwarted by parents or circumstances. School-age children tear up papers when their handwriting or drawing does not meet their high standards. Middle school students collapse when they don’t make the team, the band, the squad, or the honor roll. High school seniors think their lives are over when they can’t wear the latest fashion or don't get into the college of their choice.

Our hardest critics are often ourselves. The world imposes many stressors that press us down. Adding our self-imposed stressors can squash us flat. Flattened people do not function well.

Outside pressures are often beyond our control, so if we want to pump our flattened selves up, we must realize the hard pressures we are putting on ourselves and soften them. Here are some softening strategies to consider.

The first step is to make a list of the pressures you can control. Self-imposed rules should not come before relationships. Being a little late is not as bad as fracturing a family. 

Prioritize your pressures. Are there any pressures which can be easily subtracted? I ask myself: Are there times when I can relax about time? When must I be on time and when can I be a few minutes late?

Note connecting issues. How do I contribute to the pressure? Is my family intentionally later or are there legitimate reasons for their tardiness? How can I help?

Choose an issue to address. Make a plan for managing this one stressor. If my family is not as concerned about time, could we travel separately What calming activity can I do while waiting for slower family members?

Is it possible to step away from the stressor? Maybe take a walk, read a book, or engage in a hobby while waiting? Getting a few more steps, enjoying a good book, or practicing a skill is more profitable than blowing up or melting down.

Look for good examples to follow. My mother put people before the clock. She lent a listening ear or soothed an agitated spirit without glancing at her watch. My daughter misses a lot of buses but never misses a precious moment with her children.

Turn off your inner critic. Go easy on yourself. Don’t melt down — calm down and enjoy every minute of life. 

KWL

KWL

My class was filling out a KWL chart, an organizing strategy to help students learn. K stands for “What I Know,” W for “What I Want to Learn,” and L stands for “What I Learned” after studying. Our subject was frogs and toads. My students knew a lot. Frogs live in water; toads live on land. Frogs and toads eggs become tadpoles. Both eat insects. Some hibernate. 

One student raised her hand. Confidently she stated, “Toads give you warts.” Gently, I told her that this wasn’t true. She held firm. I added her statement to our chart hoping that she would later change her opinion. She was stuck in the “What I Know” step of learning. Would she ever get to the “What I Learned” step?

Today, many of us seem to be stuck in the same place as my student. We know what we know and we won’t budge no matter what evidence is presented. We refuse to consider any new information which challenges our position or opinion. This is especially true when we choose political positions or candidates or evaluate new scientific information. We stake out our position and stick to it. 

Obstinacy can be dangerous. In 1847, Ignaz Semmelweis observed that women who were assisted in giving birth by a doctor died from a puerperal infection at three times the rate than women assisted by midwives. He deduced that doctors, who performed autopsies while midwives did not, were bringing infection into the ward. He suggested hand-washing before attending new mothers. His ideas were rejected and he lost his job. Mothers continued to die.

In 1869, Joseph Lister, postulating that infection was carried from patient to patient, was mocked when he proposed sterilizing hands and instruments before surgery. Thousands died including an American president whose physician refused to wash his hands before probing the bullet wound James Garfield suffered in an assassination attempt. Garfield died from an infection, not the bullet wound.

The obstinacy of physicians stuck in the “What I Know” step of learning caused thousands to die unnecessarily. Today, Semmelweis is known as the “savior of mothers.” Lister is called the “father of modern surgery.” After doctors adopted antiseptic practices infection rates dropped dramatically. 

My student eventually changed her mind about toads and warts. After we did some research, she became fascinated by frogs and toads. No more worries about warts. After seeing the positive effects of hand-washing, nineteenth-century doctors became more open to research which reinvigorated the study of medicine. New treatments save thousands every year. 

Entrenched beliefs keep us from learning. Only when we are willing to ask questions, do some research, listen to the opinions of others, investigate new ideas, and reconsider our own opinions can we learn. What great things might happen when we all “Want to Know”? 

All three parts of a KWL chart are important. To move from “What I Know” to “What I Learned” one must “Want to Know.”

On Beyond ABC

On Beyond ABC

Read the following words aloud: cough, tough, through, though, great, meat, threat, dear, bear, goose, choose, dose, and rose. Inconsistencies galore! To read English successfully, students must learn the relationship between 44 speech sounds and more than the 100 spellings used to represent them. Decoding words using phonics cues and the ability to apply these cues to known and unknown words is one of the most complicated skills for reading. After mastering basic sounds, the student must then learn how the sequencing of these letters creates words. 

To accomplish this daunting task, new readers must master phonemic awareness (the ability to identify small units of sound and manipulate them), print awareness (the rules of written language), and alphabetic knowledge (recognizing letters as symbols for sound). Decoding involves combining these skills and connecting them to what students know of the world. 

Reading is an incredibly difficult task that we expect young children and English-learners to master in a short number of years. Teachers work hard to help students learn. What can parents do to help children master phonics skills at home?

1. Go to the library! Your librarian can suggest books to help children learn to read. Ask for decodable texts which follow phonics patterns consistently. Early readers need success. Choose books that follow the patterns your child already knows. Also, match books to the interests of your child without regard to reading level. Wanting to know will push them to wanting to read. Applaud good trying. 
2. Mix and Match: Find words that use recognizable patterns and sort them into groups by pattern. Write some on paper squares. Hop, pop, pot, hot, hog, jog, cob, job. Which go together? Why? Which stick out? Why? Make it a matching game. 
3. Make Word Smoothies! Get out the letter tiles and blend letter combinations together. S with H makes /sh/ as in quiet! C with H makes /ch/  as in choo, choo train which starts with T and R. Challenge your child to make new combinations. 
4. Rhyme Time: While reading with your child, find rhyming words in the text. Note spelling patterns — even irregular ones like choose and goose. Keep a visual list on a whiteboard or poster. Encourage your child to add words to the list while reading independently.
5. Be Word Detective: Encourage your child to find known words in your environment.  Cover your house with words children might already know. Label the bed, the lamp,  the dog, etc. Find words out in the world. Stop at the stop sign. Locate the exit. Follow signs to find hidden treasures.

The encouragement of parents is the most important asset new readers have. Read to them, with them, and in front of them. Consistency in the English language may be elusive but consistency in the love of a parent is constant and sure. Having fun with reading leads to reading success.

(This is the third in a series about reading success.)