Somebody Loves You!

Somebody Loves You!

Which group of people gets the most Valentines? I guessed grandparents, figuring that the multiplication factor would somehow work in -- you have two kids, they have two kids. Boy, was I surprised when I heard the answer. Give up? It’s teachers. I should have known. Teachers get all kinds of love, some in the form of superhero or princess Valentines.

Love is a major perk for teachers. We love the kids and they love us back. Our love comes in the form of lessons, tying shoes, sharing books, zipping jackets, patting heads, and “way-to-gos.” Kid’s love comes back in smiles, giggles and hugs, good work, and those once-a-year Valentines. 

We get lots of love. 

One of my favorite books is Somebody Loves You, Mr. Hatch, by Eileen Spinelli. Mr. Hatch leads a very dull life. He works in a factory, dresses in drab clothes, eats a turkey wing for dinner every night, and sweeps his porch every Saturday morning. The illustrations by Paul Yalowitz reflect the grayness of his life. One day, the postman, Mr. Goober, knocks on Mr. Hatch’s door with a package. Mr. Hatch opens it to find a huge heart-shaped box of candy. The note attached says, “Somebody loves you.”

     From that day on Mr. Hatch’s life changes. He wears a yellow polka-dot tie. He helps his neighbors. He bakes brownies and throws backyard picnics. He laughs and plays his harmonica. As his life brightens, so do the illustrations. Reds and yellows replace blues and grays.  

     Then Mr. Goober sheepishly returns to tell Mr. Hatch that he made a mistake. He had delivered the heart box to the wrong address. Mr. Hatch returns the box. How foolish he was to think that somebody loved him. He stops laughing. He puts his harmonica away. The grays return to his life.

Love made a huge difference to Mr. Hatch, even the love of some unknown admirer. Love makes a difference to us all. It changes our outlook. It changes our circumstances. It changes us.

Kids have so much love to give. The sad thing is that some children do not feel loved. Children who feel loved have the confidence to take risks and to try to learn. They say, “I can.” Unloved kids are afraid to try; they set themselves up to fail. They say, “I can’t.”

How can children tell if they are loved? How about spending? Do gifts and possessions make them feel loved? Children can have every material blessing and still not feel loved. How about spending time with them? Time is great, but it’s only time. How it’s spent is what’s important.

Children need to know that they are appreciated. They need to know that they are valued. They need to feel that you are doing what is best for them. They need to feel secure.

Good teachers provide this for their students. We praise their efforts. We welcome them to the classroom each day. We have a schedule. We have rules. We are consistent. We are where they expect to find us, and we act as they expect us to act. We share our pleasures with them, reading and writing, math, music, art, languages, history, science, and much more. And books! Teachers love books only a little less than they love children.  

Parents give love by showing pleasure in their children, by sharing themselves and their interests, by disciplining themselves, and by consistently guiding their children in loving ways. Parents model the values they want their children to have; if one of these values is love, children feel loved. They know somebody loves them.

Mr. Hatch shrinks back into his narrow world, but luckily for him, his neighbors remember the loving Mr. Hatch, the Mr. Hatch who helped them, who shared and laughed with them. Together, they show Mr. Hatch that he is loved, and the colors spring back into his life. 

Loving parents pour colors into their children’s lives. Loving teachers brighten the colors for their students. And beloved children?  They make rainbows.  

(Somebody Loves You, Mr. Hatch by Eileen Spinelli, Ill. By Paul Yalowitz, Aladdin Paperbacks 1996)

Just Like Abraham Lincoln

Just Like Abraham Lincoln

Every February, I read a great picture book, Just Like Abraham Lincoln by Bernard Waber, to my second graders. In the story a young boy notices that his neighbor bears a remarkable physical resemblance to Abraham Lincoln. Like Lincoln, his friend is a lawyer who helps people. Like Lincoln, he likes to read and discuss ideas. He also teaches the boy and his classmates about the real Lincoln.

As a boy Abe liked to read and learn. You may know stories about his reading by firelight and walking many miles to borrow and return books. Although he lacked a formal education, he valued learning and read everything he could get his hands on. He also liked to have fun and played many practical jokes on his family, including putting his footprints on his mother’s freshly white-washed ceiling.

Abe was a hard worker. There were many chores to do on his father’s farm and Abe was needed at a young age to help. He often plowed a field with a book propped in front of him. This didn’t help keep the rows very straight. As a young man he held many jobs, including splitting rails, and he always worked hard and responsibly.

Abe was honest. As a young man he was partner in a general store. He was not a very good businessman, but he built a reputation for honest dealings. His honesty is highlighted by the story about his walking miles to return two cents a widow who had overpaid him. He traded groceries for a barrel of books in which he found Blackstone’s Commentaries, a legal compendium, which became the basis for his law career. 

Abe knew the laws and he kept them. Abe was an militia captain during the Indian wars. Once, his men captured an Indian messenger. The rules of war stated that all messengers were to be given safe passage. Abe’s men wanted to kill him anyway. Abe would not allow it, even though his decision made him very unpopular with his men.

Abe was kind. He found time to help children, animals and people in trouble. Once he helped free a pig stuck under a fence, getting himself very muddy in the process. In his law practice he often defended the underdog -- free of charge.

Abe liked people. He sat for hours swapping tales with travelers and friends. He loved a good joke. A judge once fined him $5.00 for telling a joke that disrupted the court. Later, the judge asked Abe what he had been whispering. After hearing the joke, the judge repealed the fine.

Abe loved his family. Even after he was president he took time to play with his children. His boys often played around the feet of Abe’s Cabinet members.

Abe hated war. During the Civil War, he was grief stricken about the tragic loss of lives. He wrote many condolence letters to families who had lost sons, fathers and brothers. Even his face displayed his agonizing, aging visibly as the war dragged on.

When my students read about the life of Lincoln, they learned about a good man who knew what was important in life and who lived by his principles. 

They also learned that by helping others and living by our principles, we too can be “just like Abraham Lincoln.”

Mittens!

Dear Family,

  Yesterday, as I exited my place of employment, I walked
out into a winter wonderland. Snow covered all. My car was smothered
in the white stuff and the temperatures hovered in the low twenties.

While others shivered and reached for their snow scrapers, I boldly
strode up to my car and swept the white stuff off, scattering snow to
the east and west with my hands.

Was I cold? Did my hands get frozen and wet? 

NO! 

Fear not!  I had my .... MITTENS!

Yes, the very same mittens that my sainted little brother had
given me oh so long ago (30 years!). That same brother who diligently
saved the pennies from his allowance, shoveled snow, raked leaves and
stood on the corner selling matches in order to buy his ungrateful
siblings mittens for Christmas. 

Yes that little boy, Tiny Mikey we called him, worked his fingers to the bone

so that his brothers and sisters would not have to suffer frozen digits. 

And did we appreciate it?  Did we thank him?  NO! 

Well I for one, yea though it be thirty years late, repent. 

Thank you, Mikey! Your gift is much appreciated. Long may my fingers 

(so effortlessly typing this message) be warm -- thanks to YOU!
 

Your loving and many-fingered sister,
 

Lisa (2005)

PS  Did I mention he did all this by the time he was five?
 
 

Brrrrrr!

Brrrr!

When I was growing up, my father lived in a different climate. Let me clarify, while he did travel with his job, most of the time he resided with us. It’s just that he never seemed to be in the same temperature zone as the rest of us.

In the winter, he was not cold – inside the house at least. While my sisters and I complained that there was ice on our windows – on the inside – he told us that the house was not cold. We compensated in various ways. Maria slept with the cat, Carla used the dog and I kept a hot water bottle hidden in my sheets.  I could almost imagine my brothers huddled around a fire in their room, good Boy Scouts that they were.

In summer, we had the opposite problem. He was never hot. We begged for years for air conditioning, but until his allergies demanded it, our cries were in vain. Once we had the A/C, we never turned it on. “It’s not hot,” my father would assert as we melted. Of course, he was not hot. He was at work – in air conditioning – while we were at home sweating.

Now, my father was not a tyrant or unreasonably denying his children what they needed. He was just the man who paid the bills. I imagine that there were a lot of them for a family of ten. We never got frostbite or heatstroke. There was food on the table and clothes on our back and we were very well loved.

Kids always want what they don’t have. Today they want every electronic device advertised, each new fashion accessory and whatever the other kids “all” have. They can’t live without them, as they will repeatedly tell you. Parents have to be the ones who say, “No.”  I learned that when I had my own kids. Pinching pennies is a parent’s pastime. Trying to spend them is a kid’s. 

My children used to moan that there was nothing to eat in the house. Of course, we had three square meals a day. They had nothing to wear, yet their closets bulged. It’s so cold. That’s what sweaters are for. It’s so hot!  Isn’t that fresh air great? Round and round they go and when will they stop? The day they have their own children.

That’s what makes family life so great – it repeats itself. And every generation goes through the same cycles. That’s the way it should be. The parents are the teachers; the kids are the students. The lessons need to be learned. 

I look back with great fondness on my childhood. I learned my lessons well. Did you? I once heard a speaker telling parents that if they are giving their children everything they want they are teaching them a very bad lesson. Good things need to be earned. Bills need to be paid. You will not expire if you don’t have most things. You may shiver a bit, but you will compensate (remember that hot water bottle?) and come out stronger and wiser. So throw on another blanket or open a few windows.

Your kids may gripe, but you can smile thinking about how your grandkids will pay them back.