I come from a funny family. My father loved to tell jokes. My mother, his best audience, laughed even as we groaned. My siblings are all funny in different ways, ranging from droll to wry to ironic to witty to downright knee-slapping hilarious. My rating was “audience.” So I was very surprised when during a recent visit, my cousins laughed at all my stories. They rated me “hilarious.” Some of my siblings’ comic genius must have rubbed off on me.
Do you remember that old bon mot about “the company you keep”? Parents warn children to choose their friends carefully because others will judge you by the company you keep. The friends you choose will signal to others the person you are. Our friends also influence the person we become.
Anyone you spend time with can change you. If your friends are studious and goal-oriented, you study. If they are party animals, you attend a lot of parties. If they drink, you drink. If your friends are fashion-conscious, your clothes budget inflates. If they hike, you grab a backpack. If they go to church, you learn some hymns. Liberal or conservative? Rock and roll or jazz? Readers or movie buffs, sedentary or active, globe-trotters or armchair travelers, our friends influence our actions and beliefs.
We mold ourselves in the image of our friends so choosing good models is important. If our friends are sarcastic and caustic, we become derisive and critical. If our friends are kind and generous, we open our wallets and hearts. I have often wondered what kind of person I would be if I didn’t have a loving and caring mother and a compassionate and responsible father.
Mom loved not only us but everyone she met. She modeled her love in her words and deeds. Dad worked through adversity and illness to make sure we had enough and also volunteered in his community and church. Both were grateful for what they had and wanted to share their good fortune with others. Their values rubbed off on us.
I wonder who I might have become if I had chosen a different spouse. His joyful and open spirit supports me and our children in all of our dreams and endeavors. His joy has been passed to our grandchildren who are a joy for us.
I have been lucky with friends too. My teacher friends love and support me. My church friends stand by me in times of triumph and trial. My hiking friends carry me along the path with laughter and empathy. I hope I have been a good friend to them all.
Our parents were right; the company we keep is important. Our families, spouses, and friends influence who we are. We also influence them. What attitudes, values, and practices are rubbing off on our children? How do our words and actions signal to them the type of people we want them to be?
My position on the family hilarity tree might be at the bottom but laughter buoys us all. Share the best of yourself with others. Be the company you want others to keep.
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