I (Don't) Love Lucy

 I (Don’t) Love Lucy 

In the 1950s, everyone loved Lucy. The antics of Lucy, Ricky, Ethel, and Fred were ratings gold. The episode in which Little Ricky was born, aired miraculously coincidental to the night Lucille Ball gave birth to her son Desi, Jr.  Forty million people tuned in, nearly 72% of American households. Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz left a legacy of laughter. Yes, everyone loved Lucy — except for my mother.

Mom cringed when Lucy and Ethel took jobs at the chocolate factory, working faster and faster as the conveyer belt sped by, gulping chocolates, stuffing them into their dresses, and tossing them onto the floor. She groaned when Lucy baked bread covering the kitchen with flour. “Who’s going to clean that mess up?” Mom wondered. The mother of six active children Mom knew a lot about cleaning up. But what turned Mom off was the revenge mentality of many of the episodes.

Many episodes revolved around the married couple vowing, “I’ll teach Lucy/Ricky a lesson!” One of the “loving” spouses then devised a plan to exact revenge on the other for some real or imagined injustice. Lucy was angry that Ricky wouldn’t let her into his show or Ricky thought Lucy was spending too much money. Whatever the reason, the spouses plotted to humiliate or to embarrass the other.

Mom didn’t like what the show was teaching. The lesson she wanted us to learn was that marriage required loving and supporting your spouse — no matter what mistakes they make, no matter how they disappoint you, no matter what messes they make. Marriage was a partnership. A family was a team. Love, not revenge, holds us together. 

Is conflict more entertaining than cooperation? Thousands of comedy series have followed the pattern set by “I Love Lucy.” Think through the sitcoms you’ve watched over the years. How many plots revolved around one character teaching another a lesson? How many times have we laughed when someone gets slapped in the face with a figurative pie, some action that blows up in their faces, or some humiliation putting them in their place? 

Revenge mentality has leaked into real life too. Political parties no longer promote their platforms, they humiliate their opponents. Social media thrives on putting down others. Pundits shout insults. Reality shows debase or demean their participants. The worse it is the more the public wants to see it.

Mom didn’t dislike all TV shows. She loved "The Andy Griffith Show.” Sheriff Taylor helped his neighbors, loved his family, and encouraged his impulsive deputy, Barney Fife. Using kindness as his only weapon, Andy kept Mayberry friendly and safe. When Barney or son Opie made a mistake, Andy helped them to learn from it without embarrassing them. Andy treated everyone in town with dignity — even Otis, the town drunk. In Mayberry, folks laughed with one another, not at one another.

Treating others with dignity is the best way to show love. Revenge is not sweet when it involves spouses, family, or friends. When you say, “I love,” you have to mean it. That’s the only lesson you need to learn. Like Mom did, teach it well.