I (Don't) Love Lucy

 I (Don’t) Love Lucy 

In the 1950s, everyone loved Lucy. The antics of Lucy, Ricky, Ethel, and Fred were ratings gold. The episode in which Little Ricky was born, aired miraculously coincidental to the night Lucille Ball gave birth to her son Desi, Jr.  Forty million people tuned in, nearly 72% of American households. Lucille Ball and Desi Arnaz left a legacy of laughter. Yes, everyone loved Lucy — except for my mother.

Mom cringed when Lucy and Ethel took jobs at the chocolate factory, working faster and faster as the conveyer belt sped by, gulping chocolates, stuffing them into their dresses, and tossing them onto the floor. She groaned when Lucy baked bread covering the kitchen with flour. “Who’s going to clean that mess up?” Mom wondered. The mother of six active children Mom knew a lot about cleaning up. But what turned Mom off was the revenge mentality of many of the episodes.

Many episodes revolved around the married couple vowing, “I’ll teach Lucy/Ricky a lesson!” One of the “loving” spouses then devised a plan to exact revenge on the other for some real or imagined injustice. Lucy was angry that Ricky wouldn’t let her into his show or Ricky thought Lucy was spending too much money. Whatever the reason, the spouses plotted to humiliate or to embarrass the other.

Mom didn’t like what the show was teaching. The lesson she wanted us to learn was that marriage required loving and supporting your spouse — no matter what mistakes they make, no matter how they disappoint you, no matter what messes they make. Marriage was a partnership. A family was a team. Love, not revenge, holds us together. 

Is conflict more entertaining than cooperation? Thousands of comedy series have followed the pattern set by “I Love Lucy.” Think through the sitcoms you’ve watched over the years. How many plots revolved around one character teaching another a lesson? How many times have we laughed when someone gets slapped in the face with a figurative pie, some action that blows up in their faces, or some humiliation putting them in their place? 

Revenge mentality has leaked into real life too. Political parties no longer promote their platforms, they humiliate their opponents. Social media thrives on putting down others. Pundits shout insults. Reality shows debase or demean their participants. The worse it is the more the public wants to see it.

Mom didn’t dislike all TV shows. She loved "The Andy Griffith Show.” Sheriff Taylor helped his neighbors, loved his family, and encouraged his impulsive deputy, Barney Fife. Using kindness as his only weapon, Andy kept Mayberry friendly and safe. When Barney or son Opie made a mistake, Andy helped them to learn from it without embarrassing them. Andy treated everyone in town with dignity — even Otis, the town drunk. In Mayberry, folks laughed with one another, not at one another.

Treating others with dignity is the best way to show love. Revenge is not sweet when it involves spouses, family, or friends. When you say, “I love,” you have to mean it. That’s the only lesson you need to learn. Like Mom did, teach it well. 

Reading Models Matter

 

Reading Models Matter

My father was a reader. If he sat down he had a book in his hand. He loved Agatha Christie, Isaac Asimov, Ray Bradbury, PD James, and Sherlock Holmes. He wielded his library card like a sword — opening the gates to wonder and knowledge. Because he read, his six children did too. My stack of library cards and a house full of books testify to Dad’s influence. I, too, love Agatha Christie and Sherlock Holmes. After Dad passed into the great library in the sky, I added many of his books to my shelves.

My students in second grade knew that I loved reading and books. Our bookshelves bulged. I told them, “If you can read, you can do anything. You don’t have to depend on others for information; you can look it up yourself. You can travel to other times and places. Readers can do anything.” We shared thousands of books, having adventures, gaining knowledge, and loving reading.

When I retired, I volunteered for a reading club for an after-school program. A group of volunteers read donated books with the children who then choose books to take home for their personal libraries. We polled the children to find out their interests — Star Wars, princesses, animals, Captain Underpants, video games, and subjects from popular culture. By shopping library and book store sales, we provide these and a few of our own childhood favorites and let the kids choose. Their joy in getting new books reflected the joy we shared in reading them.

Reader models matter. Alvin Irby, author and comedian, noticed that many young black boys lack male reader models. He founded Barbershop Books, a non-profit organization, to provide child-friendly spaces in a male-centered environment. The books provided are recommended by other children, not adults, to attract young readers. Kids like books that make them laugh so funny books top the list. Irby believes that reading experiences should be geared to children’s experiences: “Kids need to identify with the books they read. They must want to read them.” The barbershop becomes a place for both haircuts and reading. Joining men reading in a friendly place encourages the boys to  see reading as a positive male experience. 

A few years ago, my granddaughter called to tell me that she had found a great new author — Agatha Christie. Had I ever read her books? Dad inspired me and my five siblings. We inspired our children. They inspired theirs. Dad’s legacy as a reader lives on.  

Reading models matter. Be a model for your children. Find out what books they like and share them. Every kid needs a library card. Make the librarian a friend and the library a special place for you and your children. Donate books to reading programs. Volunteer to read. Pass your love of reading along. In a world full of reading adults, every kid will be a reader. 

Check out Alvin Irby’s TedTalk: “How to Inspire Every Kid to Be a Lifelong Reader.”