Numbering Your Years

Numbering Your Years

My youngest brother credits all the accomplishments in his life back to his fifth birthday. According to his scale, he had learned to read, write, cipher, argue the Constitution, quote Plato, prove geometric theorems, discuss Einstein’s theories, and drive before he was five years old. OK, maybe I exaggerated those last few, but no matter what accomplishments the rest of us claimed, he always countered with, “I could do that by the time I was five.”

How do you number your years? When I was a child, I linked my memories to my age: I learned to ride my bike when I was six. We moved to Seattle when I was seven. We moved three times when I was eight. Daddy had surgery when I was nine. Mikey was born when I was eleven. Nonna moved in when I was thirteen. Mom started working when I was fifteen. Nana died that same year. Every memory was cataloged by the years of my life.

When we are young, the world revolves around us. Our interests, needs, likes, and dislikes take center stage. As we mature, we become aware of others around us, but we remain egocentric. It is not, how does this event affect the world, but how does this event affect me? 

After I got married, my children’s ages outlined my life: We bought the station wagon when Rob was seven. We went to Florida when Jeff was thirteen. We got the goats when Thera was four. Numbering the years of the century faded behind the numbering of my children’s lives. 

It is not until we become parents that we can truly step out of ourselves and appreciate the cares of others. How do the things I do, think, and say affect my children? How do world events affect their lives and futures? What can I do to make their lives better and possibly, make the world a better place for all?

Parents’ resumes read differently from the very first cry of their child’s life. They no longer record the deals they seal or how many thousands they make but their child’s first smiles, first steps, first words, sorrows, and triumphs. Parents’ accomplishments lists include hours spent reading, hiking, talking, and sharing with a child. They include disciplining, arguing, laughing, shouting, and apologizing. They remember snuggling and snoozing in a backyard hammock with an infant, building sandcastles on the shore with a toddler, driving to countless games or recitals with a teenager, and wiping away tears as they leave the nest as a young adult. Every trip, every move, every purchase is balanced with time with your children. Your memory book merges with their lives.

Number your children’s years with love and joy. Work with them, walk with them, sing with them, and play with them. Make their lives worth remembering. Help them number their years with memories of you and the way you loved them.   

My baby brother has accomplished many things in his life but perhaps the greatest will be how he loves his four wonderful children -- all born after he was five.