Actual People

Actual People

Teachers and parents generally get along. Both share the goal of supporting children. But once in a while, disagreements or misunderstandings arise. Once in a while, tempers flare.

When I began teaching, we had only one phone in the office for teacher-parent calls. Picture this: A parent, miffed about some issue concerning their child, sends a questioning note. The teacher, busy with several children, interprets the note as a personal criticism. Said teacher waits until her lunch break, charges down the hall to the office with steam pouring out of her ears, jabs the phone number into the phone, and waits as the phone rings. Boy, is she going to give this parent a piece of her mind!

Then the parent answers.

“Hello, Mrs. M? This is Mrs. C. How are you? First, let me tell you how much I enjoy having Tommy in my class. He is such a curious learner and has such good manners. I got your note. How we can work together to solve the issue you mentioned.” 

After a pleasant conversation, the parent and teacher hang up with a much better opinion of one another from which Tommy benefits most. What happened to the steam? It disappeared the minute Mom answered the phone. Why? Because the teacher realized that she was talking to an actual person. A person who loved her child. A parent who wanted the best from his teacher. A parent who was the greatest ally a child and teacher can have.

Actual people share the same qualities, worries, hopes, and fears that you do. Actual people are behind every note, email message, Instagram, and Facebook post. Actual people write the books and articles you love or hate. Politicians from your party and opposing parties are actual people. Reporters on all the news services are actual people. Children and senior citizens are actual people. Celebrities are actual people. Service workers who patrol, clean, or cook are actual people. Immigrants are actual people. Incarcerated persons are actual people. People in other countries are actual people. People with physical and mental challenges are actual people. People with differing racial, gender, religious, or national identities are actual people. People who disagree with you, work against you, or are disrespectful to you are actual people. Actual people are worthy of respect.

One of the first lessons taught in every classroom is to treat others the way you want to be treated. This golden rule is part of almost every social and religious tradition. When did it go out of style? Why do we today feel that our anger, our fears, and our righteous indignation supersedes this most primary of lessons? Why do we feel that others need to treat us right but that we can treat others any way we want? Have we forgotten that others are actual people?

Parents and teachers share many things. Both want children to succeed. Both want children to feel secure and loved. Both want children to act responsibly and kindly. They share the responsibilities of caring adults towards growing children. They know that they must work together. Children need to see actual people getting along.

We are all actual people who share many things. We want to succeed. We want to feel secure and loved. We want to act responsibly and kindly. We need to get along. We must work together. Actual people need other actual people. Before steaming up and charging in, remember to look at the other as an actual person worthy of respect. 

Just like you.