Collaboration

Collaboration

My granddaughter loves to play board games. One of her favorites is Hoot Owl Hoot! produced by Peaceable Kingdom. To win this game, players work together to get owlets safely into their nest before the sun rises. Players collaborate instead of compete. 

In Becoming Brilliant: What Science Tells Us About Raising Successful Children, Roberta Michnick Golenkoff and Kathy Hirsh-Pasek detail key skills necessary for success in today’s workforce. The first of these is collaboration, the action of working jointly to produce or create, or working together to “build community and mutual respect.” To be successful in today's world, children must learn to work together to achieve a common goal.

Developing collaborative skills takes time. A baby’s world is firmly centered in self. A baby screaming in the middle of the night is not worrying about Mom and Dad getting enough sleep. They want what they want now! As they grow, babies learn, through interaction with their parents and others, to look beyond their own needs. Parents encourage children to express their feelings in quieter ways and to wait for their needs to be met. 

Toddlers gradually learn to share possessions and conversations but they can’t yet interpret or value alternate points of view. My toy is MY toy. Why should I share? With gentle guidance from their parents most begin to respect others’ needs and purposes. Arguing with siblings helps too. Shouts and tears eventually lead to compromise and collaboration.

Back-and-forth interactions — building sand castles with friends, helping with chores, and sharing toys with siblings help children develop interactive skills. Parents can ask children for their ideas and opinions and introduce them to new situations and people. Children grow from “How can I get my way” to “How can I help you?”

As they grow, children develop greater collaborative skills. In school, they team for projects and learning activities. Teachers encourage students to share books, art materials, and ideas. Friends create imaginary worlds in which they share trials and triumphs. One child drives the bus and the other becomes his passenger — then they switch roles. Common goals are set and discussed. Solutions are communal. 

Golenkoff and Hirsh-Pasek write that “Working together really builds understanding.” When children collaborate, they learn more — about the world, their studies, their friends, and themselves. They walk arm-in-arm, brain-with-brain, forward to success. 

When playing a Hoot Owl Hoot!, or collaborating on any project, children work together to reach a goal. The opponent is not the other players but a common problem — getting the owls safely to bed before the sun rises, building the best sand castle ever, learning to read, creating a supportive community, and becoming successful in today’s challenging world. Working together, they all win. 

(This is the second in a series of articles inspired by Becoming Brilliant: What Science Tells Us About Raising Successful Children by Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Ph.D, and Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph.D. I encourage you to read it.)