Delicacy

Delicacy

Quick! Think of a word to describe American politicians today? What comes to mind? Argumentative? Brazen? Crass? You could probably continue on to the end of the alphabet with nary a complimentary adjective. How about delicate? Not a word that springs to mind.

Dr. Frank Crane, a Presbyterian minister and inspirational writer from the early 20^th century wrote a series of Four-Minute Essays which focused on positive thinking. His writing encompassed almost every topic of the day. These essays, which I found in a tiny little book at a library sale, have a lot to say about today too.

Dr. Frank considered delicacy to be the “flavor of all the virtues.”  By delicacy, he meant not fragility but gracefulness. “It is not goodness; it is goodness filtered through modesty. It is the gentle hand of the courageous heart.” Crane felt that this quality of delicacy was required for any man to be a gentleman and any woman to be a lady. He warned that a “lack of delicacy has spoiled many a man’s career.”

A delicate person thinks first. She weighs her words carefully. She considers the feelings and opinions of others. She holds others’ points of view as no less valid than her own. She may argue, but she doesn’t berate, accuse, or demean.

Abraham Lincoln would never have been described as delicate in body. Standing well over six feet tall, he seemed to have little control over his gangly legs and enormous feet. In fact, when he first met his wife-to-be, Mary Todd, he told her, “I want to dance with you in the worst way.” For years after, Mary reported to friends and family, that that is just what he did!

But Mr. Lincoln was the model of delicacy in his life and with his words. He wrote some of the greatest speeches of any time, asking Americans to be guided by “the better nature of our angels” to forgive our former enemies, to not avenge but to aid. He realized the true intention of our nation’s Constitution, that America was “conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men were created equal.” He knew that no person could be free unless all were free. He went against popular opinion to do what was right.

Dr. Crane lists some qualities which are “fatal to delicacy.” His list includes egotism, smugness, vanity, selfishness, lack of respect for others, insolence, and most telling, insincerity, and satisfaction. Which of these might we apply to our politicians? Which of these might we ascribe to ourselves? 

Insincerity plagues our political system today. Don’t take a stand; take a poll!  See where others sit on that fence before choosing a side to land on. And what is satisfaction? Satisfaction means letting the status quo of your own personal life dictate the lives of others.  I’m OK. Why should I worry about anyone else? 

Lincoln was OK.  He had a thriving law career and a growing family. But he gave it all up for a bigger cause -- to assure that all people could be OK too. He suffered. His family suffered. The nation suffered. But America grew stronger and more delicate too. He taught us to think about the OK-ness of all in our nation and eventually, the entire world.  

“[Delicacy] cannot be explained to you; you must absorb it. It cannot be learned; it must be assimilated.” It must become part of the fabric of our lives if we are to “make virtue victorious.” Dr. Frank admonishes us to practice delicacy so that “the strong [will be] tempered with kindliness, wisdom [will be] suffused with modesty, conviction [will be] balanced with toleration.”  

If, like Lincoln, we want “the gentle hand of a courageous heart” to govern our nation, we need to assimilate delicacy and practice it daily. Let us hope our politicians embrace it too so that when we get to the letter “D” in our list of virtues, we know what quality will define our leaders, that virtue that flavors all others -- delicacy.

(Quotations from Four Minute Essays; Vol. IX  by Dr. Frank Crane, 1919.)