Dad's Umbrella

Dad’s Umbrella

One rainy summer day, I grabbed an umbrella from the coat rack and strolled out to get the mail. My mailbox sits at the end of a long driveway, so I had time to enjoy the beautiful umbrella protecting me. It was my father’s umbrella decorated with a depiction of the angels in Raphael’s Sistine Madonna. 

You’ve seen these cherubs. They gaze upward on many posters, mugs, and t-shirts, their golden ringlets and colorful wings framing their wistful faces. It’s a beautiful painting. As I walked, I thought about how my father gave me two wonderful gifts – his love of beauty and his protection.

Dad loved beautiful things. He traveled the world for his job and in every place, he sought out something beautiful to bring home. Asian carpets, French paintings, a bit of Italian sculpture, a gossamer scarf, a delicate necklace, or a piece of poetry, anything which captured his eye or his heart, he packed up or shipped home. Nothing expensive – just beautiful. 

Of course, if you asked him what he considered most beautiful, he would not hesitate to answer – Marie, his wife and the mother of his six children who were next in line on his scale of beauty. An amateur photographer, he took every chance to immortalize us in pictures. He photographed our eyes, our smiles, our tears, and our triumphs. His photos evoke memories, laughter, and tears as we remember the beautiful moments we shared.

Dad loved all things beautiful. His rose garden boasted 50 bushes with some varieties of his own cultivation. He named these after his beloved wife or rambunctious children. His record collection included opera, Broadway shows, and Shakespeare. We listened. We sang. We absorbed their beauty into our souls. 

Dad loved poetry and prose. He recited epic poems for us and Shakespeare soliloquies. He introduced us to classic literature – beautiful words which enlightened and delighted us. He shared his love of comedy and drama, giving us laughter and tears. He took us to church where we learned the great mysteries and assurances of faith. 

He wanted us to find beauty in the world, so he protected us from things which were ugly. He steered us away from prejudice, anger, fear, and hatred. He guided us toward acceptance, joy, security, and love. He showed us beauty in his actions and his words. He covered us like an umbrella, sheltering us with his love. 

My father left this world in 2014 but his gifts remain with me still. I see him in the roses in my garden, in rainbows after a storm, in the smiles of my children and grandchildren, in the heart of my husband, and in the love of my siblings. He shaped our hearts.

Dad is still teaching us about beauty. He is protecting us still. Like his umbrella, he left us behind. But when we gaze upward, with wistful glances, we see beauty and feel his love shielding us still. 

Delicacy

Delicacy

Quick! Think of a word to describe American politicians today? What comes to mind? Argumentative? Brazen? Crass? You could probably continue on to the end of the alphabet with nary a complimentary adjective. How about delicate? Not a word that springs to mind.

Dr. Frank Crane, a Presbyterian minister and inspirational writer from the early 20^th century wrote a series of Four-Minute Essays which focused on positive thinking. His writing encompassed almost every topic of the day. These essays, which I found in a tiny little book at a library sale, have a lot to say about today too.

Dr. Frank considered delicacy to be the “flavor of all the virtues.”  By delicacy, he meant not fragility but gracefulness. “It is not goodness; it is goodness filtered through modesty. It is the gentle hand of the courageous heart.” Crane felt that this quality of delicacy was required for any man to be a gentleman and any woman to be a lady. He warned that a “lack of delicacy has spoiled many a man’s career.”

A delicate person thinks first. She weighs her words carefully. She considers the feelings and opinions of others. She holds others’ points of view as no less valid than her own. She may argue, but she doesn’t berate, accuse, or demean.

Abraham Lincoln would never have been described as delicate in body. Standing well over six feet tall, he seemed to have little control over his gangly legs and enormous feet. In fact, when he first met his wife-to-be, Mary Todd, he told her, “I want to dance with you in the worst way.” For years after, Mary reported to friends and family, that that is just what he did!

But Mr. Lincoln was the model of delicacy in his life and with his words. He wrote some of the greatest speeches of any time, asking Americans to be guided by “the better nature of our angels” to forgive our former enemies, to not avenge but to aid. He realized the true intention of our nation’s Constitution, that America was “conceived in liberty and dedicated to the proposition that all men were created equal.” He knew that no person could be free unless all were free. He went against popular opinion to do what was right.

Dr. Crane lists some qualities which are “fatal to delicacy.” His list includes egotism, smugness, vanity, selfishness, lack of respect for others, insolence, and most telling, insincerity, and satisfaction. Which of these might we apply to our politicians? Which of these might we ascribe to ourselves? 

Insincerity plagues our political system today. Don’t take a stand; take a poll!  See where others sit on that fence before choosing a side to land on. And what is satisfaction? Satisfaction means letting the status quo of your own personal life dictate the lives of others.  I’m OK. Why should I worry about anyone else? 

Lincoln was OK.  He had a thriving law career and a growing family. But he gave it all up for a bigger cause -- to assure that all people could be OK too. He suffered. His family suffered. The nation suffered. But America grew stronger and more delicate too. He taught us to think about the OK-ness of all in our nation and eventually, the entire world.  

“[Delicacy] cannot be explained to you; you must absorb it. It cannot be learned; it must be assimilated.” It must become part of the fabric of our lives if we are to “make virtue victorious.” Dr. Frank admonishes us to practice delicacy so that “the strong [will be] tempered with kindliness, wisdom [will be] suffused with modesty, conviction [will be] balanced with toleration.”  

If, like Lincoln, we want “the gentle hand of a courageous heart” to govern our nation, we need to assimilate delicacy and practice it daily. Let us hope our politicians embrace it too so that when we get to the letter “D” in our list of virtues, we know what quality will define our leaders, that virtue that flavors all others -- delicacy.

(Quotations from Four Minute Essays; Vol. IX  by Dr. Frank Crane, 1919.)