I Know YOU!

          Ana:  Is it true that his parents are getting a divorce.

          Nia:  Yeah.

          Ana:  Gee, I hope my parents never get divorced.

          Nia:  They won’t. They’re a good couple.

          Ana:  But you don’t even know them.

          Nia:  Yes, I do.  I see you draw them all the time.

I overheard this conversation between two of my second graders. I was struck by this little girl’s insight into her friend’s life. Nia knew her friend. She had seen pictures Ana had drawn and somehow felt the love that radiated from that family.

All children love their families and draw wonderful pictures of them. They love to name each member and explain how and why they drew them as they did. Pets are always included.  

A child’s family is the whole world for many years. Even after starting school, the family is a child’s anchor. Families differ, yet whatever the make-up, each is complete. Even a splintered family unites in the heart of a child.

And what confidence children place in that family! Nia just knew that Ana’s parents would not divorce. They were a ‘good couple’ she concluded. They would stick together and take care of her friend. Ana didn’t need to worry. Her drawings said it all.

Of course, the real world outside of the drawings is a bit more complicated. Pressures take their toll on the happiest of families. The smiles in the drawings remain while the smiles on the faces in reality dim. 

But I think Nia was even more perceptive. She knew Ana’s family from her drawings, and she also knew Ana. Ana represented her family. She was a happy, confident kid. She had her homework done and signed. Her shoes fit and her clothes were clean. She helped her friends and was respectful to her teachers. She was a good kid, so she must have a good family.

Children do represent their families. A happy child reflects a happy home. A sad or sullen child may indicate a troubled home or an unhappy relationship. Of course, every child has his or her own personality, but these personalities are magnified or stunted by the tenor of the home in which they live.

Psychologists have been analyzing children’s drawings for years. According to them, symbolism is present in the earliest scribblings of toddlers. Circles and sunbursts speak volumes about the psyches of our smallest artists. Dark colors mean one thing, bright colors another. Drawings of people with missing limbs, features, or smiles indicate something missing or out of tune in a child’s life.

And, while psychologists analyze kid’s drawings, kids analyze their families. Subconsciously, children know when someone is worried, restless, or dissatisfied. They surf along on happiness; they sink with despair. 

Let’s hope Nia analyzed well. Ana’s pictures show a smiling family and, while a picture may be worth a thousand words, every child is worthy of a happy home. Take a snapshot of your own. What will your children draw?