WANTED: Great Parenting Advice

I just returned from a fabulous week in London where I saw a great many wonderful things and met a great many wonderful people. The British are so polite!  While there I saw many school groups visiting museums, castles, and the Tower of London. The British children wore uniforms and were very quiet and restrained. The French children were more "out there" and "free" -- at one point we had to plaster ourselves against the bushes in a castle maze as they rampaged past lost and laughing. It was a joy to see both groups and to ponder the parenting styles of both countries. So I decided to check in here and ask for information about how you might describe your parenting style. Give me some of your best advice! I know I will learn a lot!  Lisa Marie

Backseat Drivers

 Do you remember how it seemed like it was ten years from the time you hit fifteen-and-a-half and when you finally could get your driving permit?  It was the biggest step of your teen-age life. You just could NOT wait! Then you turned sixteen and got the Driver’s Manual. Boy how you studied!  Did you take Driver’s Ed at school? Remember those gory films? They almost scared you enough to give up the idea of driving; but nothing, no nothing, could keep you from wanting that license. The day you hit sixteen, you were there and ready for the test.  Watch out world, teen driver on the road!

Nowadays, drivers have many more requirements before they can get out on the road. After passing the written test and getting a permit, a six-month skill-building period is required. During this time, a teen must put in 65 practice hours with a licensed driver over eighteen. They must drive in all types of weather and on all kinds of roads. A parent must document this practice. Teen drivers may not drive between 11 p.m. and 5 a.m. The number of passengers must match the number of seatbelts in the vehicle. Only one passenger under 18 is permitted if not a family member. After six months of practice, three passengers under 18 are allowed – if a parent is along for the ride.

These are all very sensible rules, but I say, why wait until sixteen to start teaching your child how to drive? Why not start the first day they are tall enough to see out the car windows? We start our kids out in sports at five and six so that they will be prepared for the big leagues. Why not prepare them for the big roads too?

          Now I do not mean that you should put them behind the wheel. There are many ways to teach good driving skills.  First, be a good example. Follow the rules of the road. Keep to the speed limit. Drive defensively. Don’t drive under the influence.  Don’t eat or drink. Stay off the phone. Set the GPS before starting the engine. Show your kids what a good driver looks like.

Talk to your kids about driving. Teach them the rules of the road.  Say, “I’m checking my mirrors before I change lanes to make sure it is safe.” “I always wear my seatbelt.” “I turn off the cell phone while driving.” “I am always extra careful in parking lots because I must watch for cars and pedestrians.”

Include your children in navigating the roads. Have them help you plan your route. Ask them to keep an eye out for addresses, no left-turn lanes, cars changing lanes, traffic signals, road signs, and pedestrians. Let them practice signaling when riding their bikes.  Set up practice courses for toy trucks.

 Driving is a serious business.  Treat it with a serious attitude. Safe driving rules are not “meant to be broken.” Do you know that accidents go up by 50% when a junior driver has one passenger under eighteen?  That rate rises five times when more than one young passenger joins the crowd. Automobile accidents are the leading cause of teenage deaths. We want all of our teens to be around long enough to teach their own kids to drive.

 So, start them young. Begin teaching your children how to be good drivers long before they apply for that permit. Let them be “backseat drivers.” Ten years of practice between six and sixteen will make the roads safer for us all.