Remote Control

Remote Control

January 8, 2005

My four-year-old niece Maria twirls around the kitchen singing her favorite Bible song, “The fruits of the Spirit are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, fidelity, tolerance, and remote control.”   

“Remote-control” I chuckle.  Wouldn’t that be great?

Wouldn’t it be wonderful if God would run our lives just by putting His finger on the button of His remote control?  How easy it would be. 

Zap! He would rewind my life and stop me from making that stupid error last week at work.

Zap! He could fast-forward me past temptations and paths leading me away from His purpose. 

And the best key of all: Mute. Just one little tap of that key and my whole life would be changed. No more repeating gossip. No more little slips of the tongue that hurt others or little white lies that lead to great big fibs in the future. 

Unfortunately, little Maria got that last fruit wrong. God doesn’t set us straight with His celestial remote control. He doesn’t control our actions with one push of a button. No, that last fruit is that old bugaboo -- self-control. God expects us to reap that fruit ourselves. 

We must control ourselves, and we all know how difficult that can be. Think of all those donuts we have almost passed up on our last diet or the many times we held our tongues when we got hold of some really juicy gossip. Self-control is tough.   

But God doesn’t leave us helpless. He is waiting for us to remember that, ultimately; He is in control of our lives. When we give Him full control, self-control becomes a lot easier. So, even without an omnipotent remote control running our lives, we can reap the fruit of the Spirit.  

And then, like Maria, we can dance.

Freedom to Worship

The Four Freedoms

Freedom of Worship

Second in a series

Almost every American would recognize Norman Rockwell’s painting “Freedom of Worship.” The painting depicts people of different races and different religions expressing their devotion to their respective deities. Eyes are closed in contemplation or raised in supplication or awe. Hands are folded. Each person worships in his/her own way while standing with a community of worshippers.

 Rockwell was inspired by Franklin D. Roosevelt’s “Four Freedoms” speech given in January 1941 when much of Europe was in turmoil and many in the United States feared being drawn into the war. FDR listed four freedoms. 

“The first is the freedom of speech and expression—everywhere in the world. The second is freedom for every person to worship God in his own way — everywhere in the world.” Roosevelt recognized that these freedoms, which were enjoyed by citizens of the United States, should be universal.

When FDR made his speech, the United States was maintaining an isolationist policy. Rockwell’s illustrations were published in The Saturday Evening Post after the U.S had entered WWII following the bombing of Pearl Harbor in December of 1941. Will Durant, historian and philosopher author of an 11-volume series, The Story of Civilization, wrote an essay which accompanied the painting for “Freedom of Worship." 

Durant wrote that, “Man differs from the animal in two things: He laughs and he prays.” Durant remembers watching workers in the village of his youth, coming in from the fields to a little church in the valley. These usually reticent men came to worship in their own fashion, “… because religion, like music, lives in a world beyond words, or thoughts, or things. They have felt the mystery of consciousness within themselves…” which they share with “the stars, and found in them a majestic order so harmoniously regular that our ears would hear its music were it not eternal.”

Durant says that this freedom to worship is “the first and final symbol of America.” The Pilgrims came to this nation “to win freedom for their souls, to think and speak and worship as they would.” The freedom to worship is a founding principal of the nation. 

Durant then poses a question: What is the finest thing about the worshippers he watches at the little chapel? “It is that they do not demand that others should worship as they do, or even that others should worship at all…. these worshippers understand that faith takes many forms and that men name with diverse words the hope that in their hearts is one.” 

Roosevelt recognized that the freedom to worship is an international human right. Durant wrote that, “the privilege of winning for all peoples the most precious gifts in the orbit of life — freedom of body and soul, of movement and enterprise, of thought and utterance, of faith and worship, of hope and charity, of humane fellowship with all men,” should be the guiding moral compass for our nation. 

A combined chorus of diverse worshippers, seeking the majestic and harmonious music of the stars, will guide our nation to a “humane fellowship” with all. 

(FDR’s full speech (voicesofdemocracy.umd.edu), Rockwell’s paintings, and Durant’s essay (www.saturdayeveningpost.com) are available online. I encourage you to find them.)

Clue Words

Clue Words

“Tony and Ann are playing in the gym. Their mother will pick them up in 30 minutes. They play basketball for 12 minutes. They play catch for 8 minutes. How much longer do they have in the gym?”

 Math word problems are tough. Words mixed with numbers often confuse young math students. Many give up. Tears can follow.

Overwhelmed students do not learn well, so teachers teach students strategies for decoding these problems. One strategy is to look for clue words to indicate which operation to use, such as: more, less, fewer, longer, altogether, sum, difference, etc.

“Tony scores 17 points. Ann scores 9. How many more points does Tony have? How many do they have altogether? How many more points does Ann need to score to beat Tony?” 

Clue words help students decide how to solve the problem. Having a strategy gives the students confidence to begin. 

Clue words in life are important too. Children are often overwhelmed by the stories which are their lives. We were a happy family but Dad is moving out. Our school is safe but we have to keep our classroom doors locked. She won’t be my friend anymore. Confused children look to their teachers and parents for help. 

“Help” is one of the clue words we can offer children. Mr. Rogers advised parents to teach their children to look for helpers in times of troubles. Children need to know that people care for them and will help them. Teachers and parents are on the front lines. Children must have confidence that help will come.

“Trust” is another clue word. Children need to know that they can trust and that they can be trusted. “Mom and Dad do what they say they will. I can count on the support of my teacher and friends.” Adults must be models of trust so that children will learn to be trustworthy. Adults must show trust in the children in their care.

“Kindness” is a big clue. Children who are treated kindly learn to be kind. Children who expect kindness learn to be polite, caring, and altruistic. “Golden rule” living makes life pleasant for all parties. Kindnesses offered echo back. 

There are many clue words which we teach our children: patience, joy, gentleness, dignity, responsibility, self-denial, generosity, compassion, empathy, self-discipline, sympathy, grace. Children find these clues in our actions and our words. Children get the confidence they need to solve life’s problems by learning to use these clues.

Tony and Ann are at the gym. Mom said she would pick them up at 5:30. At 5:25, they pack up. At 5:30, Mom greets them with a smile and thanks them for being on time. They chat about the day’s events on the way home. After dinner, the family cleans up together and Dad helps with their homework. They read together until bedtime. Kisses, hugs, prayers, and wishes for sweet dreams teach them another clue word: love. 

Tomorrow, and every day after, Tony and Ann will use the clue words they learn from their parents to live confident and fulfilled lives. 

Dare to Fail

Dare to Fail

Do you remember that childhood mantra: If at first, you don’t succeed, try, try again. Children are not afraid to try and fail. That’s how they learn. They persist, try new things, and take chances. Sooner or later, they succeed and their confidence grows.

In Becoming Brilliant: What Science Tells Us About Raising Successful Children,  Roberta Michnick Golenkoff and Kathy Hirsh-Pasek list six skills vital for success in today’s world: collaboration, communication, content, critical thinking, creativity, and confidence. Without confidence, the previous five remain dormant. To step up to a challenge, children must first have the confidence to step out. 

Golenkoff and Hirsh-Pasek write that confidence is composed of two components: the willingness to try and the pluck to persevere. Babies personify both. Imagine what courage is involved in taking your first step. You try, you fall down. You try again, you fall again. Finally, after many attempts, you walk across the room into Mommy’s arms. Success! What can you try now?

We’ve all heard stories about the little engines that couldn't — the Wright brothers’ many plane crashes, Thomas Edison’s thousand bulbs that didn’t light, J.K. Rowling’s rejection notices. Without their persistence, we would be stuck on the ground in the dark never having boarded the Hogwarts Express with Harry Potter. 

How can parents help their children gain confidence? Clinical psychologist Wendy Model says “get out of the way.” Let your children try and fail. Let them take calculated risks. When they fail or succeed, help them analyze what they did right or did wrong. Praise them for trying, not only for winning. Acknowledge their feelings and allow them to work it out for themselves with hugs or tears when needed. Don’t trap them in bubbles, let them run free, even when covered in band-aids.  

Confident children are willing to communicate their ideas, collaborate with others, learn new things, examine information, find problems, and create new solutions. Confident children make plans, execute them, and critically examine their results. Confident children have parents who allow them to try and fail and who encourage them to try again, parents who teach their children to view failure not as a catastrophe but as a learning experience. 

Author C.S. Lewis said, “Failures are finger posts on the way to achievement.” 

Teach your children to look at failure as a step toward improvement. Champion skiers started on the bunny slope. Olympic divers belly flop. Famous writers revise. All successful people started out as infants using their senses to learn about the world. 

Successful people don’t start at the top, they climb and fall and climb again. Teach your children to climb. Give them the encouragement they need to mount the next step. Applaud even when they tumble down and encourage them to climb again. 

For if at first you don’t succeed, those who keep trying will. 

(This is the final article in a series inspired by Becoming Brilliant: What Science Tells Us About Raising Successful Children by Roberta Michnick Golinkoff, Ph.D. and Kathy Hirsh-Pasek, Ph.D. I encourage you to read it.)

Freedom of Speech

Freedom of Speech

(First in a series of four freedoms)

On January 6, 1941, President Franklin Delano Roosevelt delivered his State of the Union address. Europe was at war with Hitler. Many in the U.S. wanted to remain isolated from European affairs. Roosevelt, preparing the country for possible future involvement stated that “No realistic American can expect” to stay free from a dictator’s influence unless by opposing it. He framed his arguments with the four essential freedoms: Freedom of speech and expression; Freedom to worship; Freedom from want; and Freedom from fear. 

Roosevelt expressed the first freedom as “The freedom of speech and expression — everywhere in the world.” FDR maintained that freedom of speech in one country can be eroded unless all nations share the same freedom. It was the responsibility of democratic nations to guarantee “the supremacy of human rights everywhere.”  

Artist Norman Rockwell illustrated the Four Freedoms. His Freedom of Speech painting shows an average man speaking his piece in a local meeting. Many in the world did not share this right. FDR wanted to guarantee this right in all nations. Allowing dictators to limit speech anywhere would affect the same freedom here.

Less famous than Rockwell’s paintings are the four essays commissioned by the Saturday Evening Post to accompany them. American writer Booth Tarkington wrote the story which accompanied Freedom of Speech.

Tarkington imagines a meeting of two young men in an Alpine Mountain chalet. A slight young painter and a burly journalist share a table. Talk turns to politics and the subject of free speech comes up. 

The journalist notes, “In [countries with free speech rights] the people create their own government…so the people really are the governments. They let anybody stand up and say what he thinks. If they believe he’s said something sensible, they vote to do what he suggests. If they think he is foolish, they vote no.” He concludes that those who wish to seize power will fail in these nations.

The painter agrees, “Speech is an expression of thought and will. Therefore, freedom of speech means freedom of the people.” He says that limiting this right might allow a dictator to take power. He continues “so long as governments actually exist by means of freedom of speech, [dictators] … shall not be able to last a day unless we destroy freedom of speech.” 

His friend asks how this can be done. The painter proposes a “purge” — creating fear so that people will choose to limit speech to ensure their safety. 

The journalist counters, “They would be brainless to make such a choice — utterly brainless.” The painter counters, “…many people can be talked into anything, even if it is terrible for themselves.” 

The young journalist exits and the young painter asks the innkeeper who he was. 

The landlord replies “I don’t know his whole name, but I have heard him called ‘Benito,’ my dear young Herr Hitler.”

Tarkington’s chilling story underlined Roosevelt’s fear that limiting free speech rights in any nation limits the rights of every nation. 

FDR quoted founding father Benjamin Franklin in his speech, "Those who would give up essential Liberty, to purchase a little temporary Safety, deserve neither Liberty nor Safety.” 

Cherish the four freedoms. Promote ethical actions in our nation and the world. Speak freely and justly.

(FDR’s full speech (voicesofdemocracy.umd.edu), Rockwell’s paintings, and Tarkington’s essay ( www.saturdayeveningpost.com) are available online. I encourage you to find them.)

If You Can Keep It

If You Can Keep It

The Constitutional Convention of 1787 in Philadelphia was shrouded in secrecy.  Gathered to revise the Articles of Confederation, a loose agreement which held the fledgling United States together, the delegates quickly realized that they needed a more binding document and a more formal form of government. Windows were shut and so were the delegates mouths. Nothing leaked out.

Eighty-one-year-old Ben Franklin sat with the delegates. When the convention ended, a lady approached Franklin as he left the convention hall, “Well, Doctor, what have we got a republic or a monarchy?” Franklin replied, “A republic, if you can keep it.”

Many today mistakenly believe that the United States is a democracy. The nation was founded as a republic, a government in which the people are represented by elected officials, “whose wisdom,” as James Madison put it, “may best discern the true interest of the country.” The founders lacked trust in the people’s abilities to make wise decisions as they would in a true democracy. Revolution was brewing in France and the founders feared mob rule.

Many voters today believe that their interests are not represented. They feel that lobbyists and the “one-percent” hold more sway with politicians than the average voter — even when those voters come out in force. How many “million-people” marches have been met by silence from elected officials? Phone calls, letters, and emails from constituents seem to be ignored. Many Americans are losing faith in their elected officials. 

The power of the vote seems to be waning so many opt out from voting. Young people especially have given up. The 24-hour news cycle reports leaks, allegations, arguments, disgraces, and “alternative facts,” which discourage voters. Wisdom seems to be seriously lacking in many of our elected representatives. Many have lost hope in our governments’ ability to serve its people. 

How has this happened? We look for someone to blame. It’s crooked politicians. No, it’s lobbyists serving private-interest groups. No, it’s the elite, the wealthy, the (fill in the blank with the group you despise most). We look everywhere but in the mirror. Benjamin Franklin’s answer to his curious questioner was, “A republic, if YOU can keep it.”

Keeping a republic is the responsibility of citizens. We must choose representatives with wisdom. That means researching issues, knowing what you believe, seeking candidates who represent your point of view, and getting out the vote — yours and others who want the same outcome you do. Never forget that the politicians you dislike were voted in. Wise representatives must be sought and elected.

Benjamin Franklin sat through four months of arguments, proposals, revisions, and compromises before our national constitution was accepted by the delegates. On the final day, Franklin pointed to the back of the convention’s president’s chair where an artist had depicted a sun and commented: ”I have often ... in the course of the session ... looked at that sun behind the President without being able to tell whether it was rising or setting. But now at length I have the happiness to know it is a rising and not a setting sun." The rising or setting of our nation depends on its citizens. Vote.

The Common Good

The Common Good

I love matching tests. The object is to match a term on the left with its definition on the right. This is my kind of test — the answers are already on the page.

Here’s a test for you: Match the following terms, community, compassion, communion, and companion with its meaning: A: a feeling of fellowship with others; B: the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts or feelings; C: one who shares with another; D: the demonstration of love. 

Before we check your answers, let me ask what connects these four words? The root “com” goes way back to a Latin root, “cum,” which meant “together” or “with.” When you add “com” to a word, it joins one thing to another. “Com” indicates having something in common. 

The concept of common goes way back too. “Common knowledge,” is something which we all know or should know. Villages had “commons,” meaning shared land used for grazing animals or planting gardens. Our American founding documents refer to the “common good” — the good which we all share.

Robert Reich, former Secretary of Labor, in his book The Common Good, writes, “The common good consists of our shared values about what we owe one another as citizens who are bound together in the same society— the norms we voluntarily abide by, and the ideals we seek to achieve.” Note these words: shared, bound together, same, and we. “We the people,” begins our national Constitution.

The common good draws us together to work for the good of all citizens. Our society was not modeled on “every man for himself,” but on “everyone for the good of each other.” Americans were intended to work together for the good of the country, its citizens, and its future generations. 

How is this common good represented in our nation today? Are we still working together for the good of all? Another meaning for common is “characterized by a lack of privilege or special status.” That brings us back to the words in another founding document: “We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness.” Are we all equal? Do we have the same rights and goals? Do we honor these words in our government programs, our schools, and our communities?

So here are your answers: Companion: one who shares with another. Community: a feeling of fellowship with others (as a result of sharing common attitudes, interests, and goals). Communion: the sharing or exchanging of intimate thoughts and feelings (with a goal of mutual understanding). Compassion: the demonstration of love. Each word adds to the concept of the common good: in fellowship with one another, we share the goal of demonstrating love for others. 

The common good begins with the same “We” which begins our sacred national documents. “We hold these truths…” “We the people…” 

How will we ensure the common good? 

As companions in community. 

By communing with compassion. 

We will do it together.