Which group of people gets the most Valentines? I guessed grandparents, figuring that the multiplication factor would somehow work in -- you have two kids, they have two kids. Boy, was I surprised when I heard the answer. Give up? It’s teachers. I should have known. Teachers get all kinds of love, some in the form of superhero or princess Valentines.
Love is a major perk for teachers. We love the kids and they love us back. Our love comes in the form of lessons, tying shoes, sharing books, zipping jackets, patting heads, and “way-to-gos.” Kid’s love comes back in smiles, giggles and hugs, good work, and those once-a-year Valentines.
We get lots of love.
One of my favorite books is Somebody Loves You, Mr. Hatch, by Eileen Spinelli. Mr. Hatch leads a very dull life. He works in a factory, dresses in drab clothes, eats a turkey wing for dinner every night, and sweeps his porch every Saturday morning. The illustrations by Paul Yalowitz reflect the grayness of his life. One day, the postman, Mr. Goober, knocks on Mr. Hatch’s door with a package. Mr. Hatch opens it to find a huge heart-shaped box of candy. The note attached says, “Somebody loves you.”
From that day on Mr. Hatch’s life changes. He wears a yellow polka-dot tie. He helps his neighbors. He bakes brownies and throws backyard picnics. He laughs and plays his harmonica. As his life brightens, so do the illustrations. Reds and yellows replace blues and grays.
Then Mr. Goober sheepishly returns to tell Mr. Hatch that he made a mistake. He had delivered the heart box to the wrong address. Mr. Hatch returns the box. How foolish he was to think that somebody loved him. He stops laughing. He puts his harmonica away. The grays return to his life.
Love made a huge difference to Mr. Hatch, even the love of some unknown admirer. Love makes a difference to us all. It changes our outlook. It changes our circumstances. It changes us.
Kids have so much love to give. The sad thing is that some children do not feel loved. Children who feel loved have the confidence to take risks and to try to learn. They say, “I can.” Unloved kids are afraid to try; they set themselves up to fail. They say, “I can’t.”
How can children tell if they are loved? How about spending? Do gifts and possessions make them feel loved? Children can have every material blessing and still not feel loved. How about spending time with them? Time is great, but it’s only time. How it’s spent is what’s important.
Children need to know that they are appreciated. They need to know that they are valued. They need to feel that you are doing what is best for them. They need to feel secure.
Good teachers provide this for their students. We praise their efforts. We welcome them to the classroom each day. We have a schedule. We have rules. We are consistent. We are where they expect to find us, and we act as they expect us to act. We share our pleasures with them, reading and writing, math, music, art, languages, history, science, and much more. And books! Teachers love books only a little less than they love children.
Parents give love by showing pleasure in their children, by sharing themselves and their interests, by disciplining themselves, and by consistently guiding their children in loving ways. Parents model the values they want their children to have; if one of these values is love, children feel loved. They know somebody loves them.
Mr. Hatch shrinks back into his narrow world, but luckily for him, his neighbors remember the loving Mr. Hatch, the Mr. Hatch who helped them, who shared and laughed with them. Together, they show Mr. Hatch that he is loved, and the colors spring back into his life.
Loving parents pour colors into their children’s lives. Loving teachers brighten the colors for their students. And beloved children? They make rainbows.
(Somebody Loves You, Mr. Hatch by Eileen Spinelli, Ill. By Paul Yalowitz, Aladdin Paperbacks 1996)