Sour Grapes in Your Stocking

Sour Grapes in Your Stocking

One November, our school had a wonderful book sale. To add interest, the booksellers offered a free-raffle ticket for every student. The prize was a giant Christmas stocking filled with games, books, puzzles, and things all kids covet. All week they waited, giggling and wondering just who would win.

With bated breath my second grade class listened as the librarian finally announced the winner: “So and So in Room 12 wins the Christmas Stocking full of gifts!” As the reality of losing washed over my crowd, a light bulb went on:

 “Room 12! That’s Kindergarten!”  

“A kindergarten kid won that stocking?”

 “He won’t even know what to do with all that stuff! He’s too little.” 

Indignation surged.

“Well,” I said, “It is Christmas. Maybe he will want to give some of those things for gifts.” They thought this over. 

One of my eager beavers raised her hand. “If I had won, I would have given the baby books to my sister.” 

“ I would give ten things away,” piped up another.

“I would give half away!” called another

“I would only keep ten things!” said a particularly generous soul.

I could see the little wheels turning. A moment ago, they had wanted it all. When they heard that they had not won, sour grapes leaped into their mouths. How could a baby kindergartener appreciate this windfall?

They thought again. Maybe showing how generous they could be would be taking the higher road. Now they strove to out-give each other with evaporated gifts.

Second grade is often a microcosm of the world.  If you want to study humankind, you don’t need to travel the world seeking out philosophers, wise men, or scholars, just visit an elementary school classroom. All the thoughts, emotions, and urges of the world can be observed right there.

Growing up in a consumer world, kids want things. They want a lot of things, more things than they can possibly use. They get mad when others get what they considered rightly theirs. They grouse. They rationalize. They envy.

With a little redirection, they change. Maybe giving can be more satisfying than getting. Maybe giving is more honorable too since my teacher or my parents value it.

We are all the same. We want. Infants cry for milk. Toddlers scream for toys. Teens agitate for the latest fashions. Adults lust after the trendiest phones. Egged on by advertisers, we believe that we deserve these things just because we want them. 

That is why we need to be reminded. Giving really is more blessed than receiving. My students got a lot of pleasure giving away those imaginary gifts. Moms, dads, siblings, cousins, and friends benefited from their generous thoughts. Not because there were real gifts, but because they had come to a new way of thinking.

Perhaps in the future, they would think of another’s pleasure before fulfilling their own. Perhaps they will be an example of generosity to others passing this gift along.

As the sour grapes melted away, the ambrosia of giving filled their hearts.  I hope they never forget that raffle stocking. 

Losing it was a better prize than winning it.

Giving People

Giving People

About twenty years ago, I gathered my adult children together and told them I had an important announcement to make. My son Rob grew pale.

“I have decided to take myself out of the loop.” I said. “Please don’t give me any more presents for Christmas.”

Rob colored again and said, “Whew, I thought I was about to get a new baby brother or sister.”

My decision was based on the old maxim that you can’t really change anyone except yourself.  I had grown tired of the hustle and bustle of the holidays. All I wanted to do, I decided, was visit with family, sing carols and eat a few cookies. I wanted to remember the real reason for the season more and worry less about the trappings and wrappings. So I took myself out of the loop. No more presents for me. But that didn’t mean I would stop giving.

After removing myself from the gift exchange, I had to decide what to do about giving. I looked around at all the things I had received over the years. Some were precious hand-made treasures made by my children.  Most were things I could definitely live without. We have so much and really need so little. So I decided to give to those who have so little and need so much. Instead of giving gifts, I would give people. 

The first year, I gave my husband a family in Africa. In his earlier days, he had spent many years raising goats but he wouldn’t have to get up early to milk this one or worry about her kicking over the bucket. This goat would belong to a family in Kenya who would use her to start a small business and also feed their children. I gave my daughter a sweet little girl in Honduras who would be housed and schooled in a wonderful orphanage run by loving people. I gave my sons a library full of books which would be used by students in Namibia to open horizons to worlds unknown.

My children jumped right in. My daughter gave me textbooks for the children of those considered “untouchable” in India. My sons gave me a classroom in Thailand which would serve victims of the child trafficking trade. My parents gave me the future of a young woman in Ethiopia who would receive a life saving operation. My husband gave me a family in war torn Darfur which would receive emergency care. 

Over the years our family has given young girls in Namibia a chance for schooling, helped educate a nurse who will serve HIV-AIDS patients in rural clinic in Zambia and provided a tin roof for a kindergarten class meeting under a tall tree in the grasslands of Africa. We have supported workers in China, Bolivia, the Dominican Republic and Cameroon.

 

My students and friends joined in too. They gave me socks to warm the frosty toes of homeless children right here in Pennsylvania. They gave me books for kids in Appalachia. They gave me teachers who brought new light into the eyes of students all over the world. They gave me help for the helpless and hope for the hopeless. 

Open your eyes… give of yourself, give as much as you can!  And you can always, always give something, even if it is only kindness!... Give and you shall receive, much more than you ever thought possible. Give, give again and again, don’t lose courage, keep it up and go on giving!  No one has ever become poor from giving!  … There is plenty for everyone in the world, enough money, riches, and beauty for all to share!  God had made enough for everyone!  Let us all begin by sharing it fairly. 

The young girl who wrote this wanted to give, give all she had to others, even though she had been living in hiding for two years with seven other people during World War II. And through her diary, Anne Frank gave an incalculable gift to the world, the gift of hope.

So now we enjoy the warmth of giving but don’t have to wrap a thing. Instead of presents, we give people. We sing the carols, eat the cookies and visit the family. And every year, our family around the world gets bigger and bigger. Rob was almost right; no baby brother, but a larger family all the same.